An interview with Charles Aznavour
Charles Aznavour
Charles Aznavour born May 22nd, 1924 (Gemini)
Should Charles Aznavour give up singing, his second best choice would be the career of sunset photographer (pixabay photo)

I'm here today with a special guest, Charles Aznavour, who just saw the birth of his last album. Hi, Charles, and welcome to Stalk Your Celebrity!.
I say it was about time you people invited me. I saw Tom Cruise the other day and, to be frank, I did not like it.

Where do you go when you die?
The cadavers are not that mobile. They normally stay where you put them.

Do you know Harold B. Hughes (a former signwriter, now a signwriter) from Phoenix?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been betrothed to him for 5 weeks. Then there was a rumor about some licentious photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to an abrupt end.

Could you improvise a song for us.
Guess so! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your love,
you took the respect away from me.
A comb, a pen forgotten in a drawer
the only sings of you.
You took away all that I had,
all and everything you took away,
so how come your cousin is here to stay?

Charles, where did you go on your last vacation?
Last month I leased a ritzy palace in a hidden valley of Djibouti. The contract included a moat surrounding the palace to ensure my privacy but also a crowd of local extras impersonating paparazzi.

On a scale of one to ten, how popular are you?
I forgot the statistics. I think I'm a three in Iceland, but a nine in Boston.

Which is the coolest flag?
Surely the flag of Hyrule, probably because there is my face in the middle of it.

Apart from singing, what one thing do you do better than anybody else?
I can play the harmonica while I'm skiing.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Charles Aznavour's home telephone number :
4705379302 4240924606 3275800275 6877287955 4596137201 7675393278 6228664281 4778702282 4985948527 533830600 4272264854 3533561222 5461737733 9490536729 7209057229 7827772381 935809427 7730861689 7318270725 7164990103
Clearly, vips are busy people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Charles Aznavour completely alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Thus, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer simulation of Charles.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.