A conversation with Charlie Day
Charlie Day
Charlie Day born February 9th, 1976 (Aquarius)
A well known clinic in Indiana is currently using Charlie Day's fans as subjects in an experiment on sleep disorders (source)

Charlie, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain soon a license for navigating my submarine.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm so busy performing very paramount things to care about such minutiae. Actually, I pay a group of NASA graduates to elaborate my grocery list and texting it to a squad of professional buyers spread around the globe. For the clothes, which are always critical, I ever employ a bunch of doubles, each sharing with me one body part measure.

What do you think about the last Oscar controversy?
To be sincere, this is an elephant in the room.

What do you have in your pockets?
This is a tricky one. As this transcription is a fabrication of your lascivious imagination, I'm probably completely undressed, so no pockets at all.

How do you invest all the dough you make?
Take note: when typewriters will be popular again I will have my revenge.

Do you like to cook?
Never happen! But I like to design salads. My all time favorite is a mix of beef jerk and bean sprouts, which I believe can be suited for both vegetarians and normal people.

Interesting! Could you share the recipe?
Yep! You take the beef jerk and the bean sprouts and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some Italian focaccia.

Italian focaccia?
Do not mind, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make the sandwiches, then you dispose of the bread and mix beef jerk and bean sprouts with some Worcestershire sauce and you are done!

Charlie Day refused to let me know his secret telephone number, but here are a few random numbers you can dream about :
3521096758 8158122931 7746359041 2499260421 4497553295 6271669702 386452936 590138313 8031582333 7715753053 6382492977 6842846773 5104683884 642075443 2495964643 6815828429 9669859871 828221268 5728265541 280300330
Let's face it, actors are very busy people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Charlie Day peacefully alone and to obtain the interview above without his help. Thus, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained thanks to a reliable mentalist from San Francisco.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.