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A conversation with Charlize Theron
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Charlize Theron
Charlize Theron born August 7th, 1975 (Leo)
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In her underground lab Charlize Theron is frenziedly trying to grow chickens with 4 legs (pixabay photo)

When you were a little girl, did you see acting as your career?
Actually, no. My father and I decided that I would have become a mechanic. But, you know, things don't always work out the way you dreamed.

Which is your favorite book?
I'm wild about "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Shania Twain.

You mean, by Mark Twain?
Probably you are confusing it with another book, anyway I've heard it both ways.

Charlize, do you have something to say to young people?
Yep! Scientific studies have proved that sniffing glue like a gnu affected by a cold may have undesirable effects, like loss of hair or death. But now you can stop being afraid! Buy "Charlize's cure", now with Diestana acida syrup. Just $19.99 for 80 capsules, only in the best Mexican minimarkets (Disclaimer : Not actually a drug. It usually may cause loss of weight or induce suicide. Sodium-free. It may contain traces of shellfish and glitter).

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Indeed! In case of drunkness mix two parts of red wine, three parts of fruit drink and some sour cream. Drink the resulting elixir every 25 minutes for 3 hours.

Are you allergic to anything?
I'm allergic to cheaters, ferrets, and boric acid.

Your agent told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
To be honest, I lived 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I got the idea it was not the Hilton hotel. In the meantime, I learnt to move small objects with my mind.

In a letter printed on Russian Transactions on Emerging Herpetology, dr. Ryan Bell has described your movies as "a tragic incarnation of today symbolic defeatism". Anything to add?
Actually, I think that in his article appeared on Croatian Psychiatrical Annals, prof. Robert Ortiz utterly rebuked that fishy observation.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Charlize Theron's secret telephone number :
3013712520 7506880930 437296581 3780732863 889547177 9713293894 2357800335 4895731414 9164581291 542066931 3106493147 4846454079 6632413648 573665126 6211634329 8521666110 8250483156 2247860700 767422661 437374113
I patiently queued up for many weeks before being able to have a rendezvous with Charlize Theron. The resulting piece was mind-boggling, like it was written by the spirit of Margaret Mitchell in her prime. So, it was very unfavorable, to put it mildly, that my cat destroyed my only copy! After I put together again my vowels and consonants, I struggled to remember those mind-boggling words. Actually, to be frank here: I'm not so certain this web page is an absolutely truly account of our rendezvous, and I'm beginning to wonder if it actually was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.