An interview with Charlize Theron
Charlize Theron
Charlize Theron born August 7th, 1975 (Leo)
Many people like to collect coins. Charlize Theron is specialized into collecting coins that have been inside a living body. (pixabay photo)

Could you tell us which is your earliest memory?
I have a somehow fuzzy and bizarre recollection. In a dark foggy open place, like an airport, two men stand and stare into the night. One of them is an official, while the other is a civilian and wears an old fashioned suit. One says "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship".

Well, I believe this is a famous scene from the movie "Casablanca".
Shoot me! To be frank, yesterday night I took a nap in front of the TV set.

Does your agent use an alias when he makes reservation for, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to ditch followers and stalkers
Absolutely! We do anything to get rid of those barbarians. We usually employ the alias "Charlize Thiron".

When you were a little girl, did you see yourself as a professional actress?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, I will get a real job.

Nowaday the problem of pneumonia in gerbils is attaining monumental proportions. Is Charlize Theron doing anything in this respect?
But of course! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The profits ($1,400/night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of pneumonia in gerbils.

What do you eat between meals?
Grapefruits with gravy, a rump steak, three salmon fillets, and a glass of energy drink.

Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can't stand commercial products. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Carposingia barbata, a rare green rose that only grows in Bhutan.

Do you have problems with movie directors?
I do not have any real problem with directors: it's quite easy when you do not give a damn.

Charlize Theron refused to divulge her secret telephone number, but here are some random numbers you can dream about :
672619529 5667503061 2978193005 5155703224 222374329 426982779 2105030002 7968449167 4829299629 649160272 6657278531 3462419791 2290362036 990352137 418037247 5367186913 4923907594 2107267020 5453723888 9360389832
I patiently sat on my bottom for years before being able to have a brief meeting with Charlize Theron. The resulting interview was wonderful, like it was written by the spirit of Margaret Mitchell after too much fernet. So, it was awfully unlucky, to put it mildly, that my cat set my only copy on fire! After I buried the body (so to speak), I attempted to extract from my fading memory those wonderful words. I want to be clear, I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page contains an entirely precise report of our rendezvous, and I'm beginning to question whether it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.