An interview with Cher Lloyd

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Cher Lloyd born July 28th, 1993 (Leo)

Should Cher Lloyd give up singing, her second best choice would be the career of Smarties color sorter (pixabay photo)

What are you working about?
I'm writing the music score for a sequel of "Leprechaun", a real classic whose value has not been fully recognized by the public.

Cher, is there a deep moral hidden in "Oath"?
Yeah! That fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.

Cher, what do you think about president Donald Trump?
I was under the impression this was a funny website, not a boring one.

Cher, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Cher's surprise". In the middle of one of my wanderings in Tibetan plateau, I discovered an unknown plant, now named Coccorisia polygona, that blooms only every 8 years. It then gives fruits whose taste reminds of apples and paprika. It may sound distasteful, but it can easily cause dependency.

In an article printed on Journal of Pragmatic History, dr. Anthony Butler observed that your songs are "a tragic prototype of modern symbolic hedonism". Which is your reaction?
Well, I think that in his last essay published on Croatian Ethical Transactions, prof. Walter Z. Brooks utterly discredited that implausible assumption.

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
I guess so! It is unfortunate that I have so little time to put down the words, as we writers like to say. Last month I've read the inside flap of "The Great Gatsby", and I found it more or less passable. So, I've asked my agent to contact the author - a certain F. Scott Fitzgerald - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not heard any news.

I heard that you will soon participate to a charity concert. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to for a clause in my last contract, which prescribed me to fake an interest in good deeds.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight otitis?
WHAT? Otitis!? Is that what's it all been about? I have to call my agent.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Cher Lloyd's home telephone number :
9168417559 775175617 9909065136 665692635 4320759926 2577443814 3587255553 704131383 3497443761 5126680256 2474288493 6332875963 6776769614 5517064863 6286160150 8478394939 6165889055 5464971507 523582282 5208297788

To be frank, my boss had patiently set up my talk with Cher Lloyd several days beforehand. Regrettably, my pet koala got lead poisoning, so I had to skip the appointment. So, the transcript above is mainly the impression of a nightmare that followed after a dinner based on deep-fried bell peppers and cabbage stew.

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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.

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