A talk with Chris Evans
Chris Evans
Chris Evans born June 13th, 1981 (Gemini)
Douglas O. Ross, the new Chris Evans' head of security, is constantly experimenting different methods to turn away stalkers and disturbing paparazzi (source)

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Sure! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your passion,
you took the emotions away from me.
A button, a scarf lost in a drawer
the gloomy souvenirs of you.
You took away my sanity,
everything I care you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

On a scale of one to ten, how famous do you think you are?
I don't know. I think I'm a three in Los Angeles, but a ten in Nepal.

Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can't stand common brands. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Podovellana androgyna, an elusive blue poppy that only grows in Tibet.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to sodium chloride, the color pink and lions.

Your zodiac sign is Gemini. Are you a typical Gemini?
Not a chance! I'm affable, somehow lethargic, strong-minded and impetuous. My relatives say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is normal in artist.

Chris, should you give up acting, which occupation would you like to pick up?
Probably that of midwife. I already have quite an experience in that field.

Do you know any good cough cure?
Yes, here it is my fantastic good medicine for cough. Mix two parts of fernet, one part of fruit smoothie and some soy sauce in a bowl, then gargle with the resulting potion every 10 minutes for 5 hours.

You are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: in September I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, blue Smarties and my special Smurf meatloaf.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Chris Evans' private telephone number :
5677796732 5793658354 606058024 2142502706 5727830616 245323150 2371463948 451926664 4079344373 8344058585 569783302 9920970008 8966246849 624281613 978090425 2571524916 2439426950 2743864655 4945030952 5515641266
My supervisor had lined up my little meeting with Chris Evans many weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like cultivating parasitic plants or breeding earthworms. So, the interview above is mainly the elaboration of a dream that ensued after a generous dinner based on liver sausages and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.