An interview with Chris Pratt
Chris Pratt
Chris Pratt born June 21st, 1979 (Gemini)
To toughen his spirit, Chris Pratt often sleeps on a hammock made of rough sandpaper and nails profusely dusted with salt (pixabay photo)

Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather humiliating. It was a play on the life of John F. Kennedy. I played the Green Arrow until somebody got smart.

Is there a deep meaning hidden in your "Guardians of the Galaxy"?
Guess so! Just be yourself - or something like that.

Can you deny the rumours about the loss of the Kraken pictures?
Could I? Of course! Do I want? Do you think i've lost my mind!

You appear to be always so radiant and cheerful. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I really believe that everyone has a dark side. For example, when I face a colleague actor, my teeth rattle with fury and my heart grows darker. And all of a sudden, I experience an impulse to estinguish that loser from this planet and whirl on his desecrate coffin. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to hear about it.

Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm so hard-pressed performing very influential things for the planet to care about things of little consequence. Actually, I have a gang of Harward PhDs to elaborate my grocery list and pass it along to a crew of pro buyers spread around the planet. For the garbs, always a critical issue, I ever retain a team of stand-in, each sharing with me one body part measure.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a raccoon. A large, fat, serene raccoon, replete and dozy in the shade of a large tree.

Do you Google yourself often?
Say every other day or so. But lately Google says "Including results for Chris Prutt", who supposedly is an electronics engineer from Dallas. That's quite discouraging, but not as much heartbreaking as discovering that for Yahoo my name sounds like an appalling vulgarity in Bulgarian.

Chris, you are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have invented the Blue Diet: in December I eat just blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue corn and naturally deceased blue jays.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Chris Pratt's private telephone number :
3925956712 257619479 9807600829 2233350530 9973289001 2051464231 463155048 3891207266 4413364871 341602860 5505322323 6739988714 3128116876 5404557158 6967265037 4612081087 5110542701 7343408992 2507912472 8363779449
Let's face it, vips are very busy people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Chris Pratt completely alone and we obtained the interview above without his help. Therefore, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained employing a computer simulation of Chris.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.