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A conversation with Christian Bale
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Christian Bale
Christian Bale born January 30th, 1974 (Aquarius)
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After an innocuous bizarre accident with his dirigible, Christian Bale has lived for 4 months in the Amazon jungle. He was alone, apart from his cat Rimbo and his strong personality (source)

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that cooking food is a waste of energy, since there are canteens and fans willing to provide my daily dose of vitamines and carbs. The few times I have to cook for my acolytes, I like to design salads. My treasure is a mix of sausages and amaranth, which I think can satisfy both vegs and normal people.

Interesting! Could you share the recipe?
Okey-doke! You take the sausages and the amaranth and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some baguettes.

Sandwiches?
It does not matter, my recipe derives from one for sandwiches. After you made the sandwiches, you throw away the bread and mix sausages and amaranth with some Thousand Island dressing and you are done!

You're amazing in "The Dark Knight". Were you given a lot of latitude to shape your character?
Absolutely! I like to improvise. It's my trademark and directors oblige.

Christian, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, there is an intricate story regarding the inheritance of my late uncle, and so to get to dough, next year I will be known as "Christian Bile".

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I figure an elk. A big, fat, tranquil elk, well fed and dozy in a summer breeze.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
Surely the flag of Cardassia, probably because there is my picture in the center of it. Cardassia is a wonderful but unfortunate place. They are so broke they use foodstamps as currency.

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
You know, I can balance a toothbrush on my chin for at least one hour.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Christian Bale's private telephone number :
2065412779 7690983511 2241324624 2364802218 7050901455 2703625103 799234230 2582424547 244918449 5052981600 5605395396 595659484 8889391944 5038177823 8524954066 8947480305 7990504243 8983539055 8283910082 7761044686
My boss had planned my brief exchange with Christian Bale several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet tiger got laryngitis, so I had to skip the talk. So, this web page is essentially based on what Christian Bale would have probably said if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.