Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my will tougher, I periodically take a nap on a bunk made of rough sandpaper and rusty barbed wire abundantly dusted with salt.
If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Christina Aguilera, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a record company and sang John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt until they gave me a job.
Which is your favorite movie?
Surely "Exorcist II: The Heretic". I think that selecting Richard Burton for that character was a winning move.
Who are your heroes?
Jeffrey (the mysterious cousin of Leibniz), Bart Simpson, and myself.
Imagine that there is somebody who'd never heard your songs. How would you describe your music to him?
Well, travelers sometimes whisper that there are one or two such chaps in Texas or in the Congolese rainforest. As my fans like to say, my songs are like a cloying banana cake with a surprising nucleus made of bacon.
In an article printed on Russian Ethical Quarterly, prof. Gregory E. Ward described your songs as "a supernatural prototype of newfangled contextual emotionalism". Anything to add?
I think that in his interesting essay appeared on Croatian Annals of Chemical Issues, dr. Jeffrey Myers completely rebutted that farfetched thesis.
Which is the coolest flag in the world?
I always liked Babar's Kingdom flag, probably because there is my face in the corner of it. Babar's Kingdom is a wonderful but desperate nation. They are so impoverished they use dried mud for seasoning.
Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to paparazzi, pandas, and bleach.
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