A conversation with Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera born December 18th, 1980 (Sagittarius)
At the end of her last public speech, Hillary Clinton has inconsequentially digressed about Christina Aguilera for 28 full minutes (source)

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my will tougher, I periodically take a nap on a bunk made of rough sandpaper and rusty barbed wire abundantly dusted with salt.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Christina Aguilera, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a record company and sang John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt until they gave me a job.

Which is your favorite movie?
Surely "Exorcist II: The Heretic". I think that selecting Richard Burton for that character was a winning move.

Who are your heroes?
Jeffrey (the mysterious cousin of Leibniz), Bart Simpson, and myself.

Imagine that there is somebody who'd never heard your songs. How would you describe your music to him?
Well, travelers sometimes whisper that there are one or two such chaps in Texas or in the Congolese rainforest. As my fans like to say, my songs are like a cloying banana cake with a surprising nucleus made of bacon.

In an article printed on Russian Ethical Quarterly, prof. Gregory E. Ward described your songs as "a supernatural prototype of newfangled contextual emotionalism". Anything to add?
I think that in his interesting essay appeared on Croatian Annals of Chemical Issues, dr. Jeffrey Myers completely rebutted that farfetched thesis.

Which is the coolest flag in the world?
I always liked Babar's Kingdom flag, probably because there is my face in the corner of it. Babar's Kingdom is a wonderful but desperate nation. They are so impoverished they use dried mud for seasoning.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to paparazzi, pandas, and bleach.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Christina Aguilera's secret telephone number :
2973674457 7446997476 4343028216 6519987470 5053019582 4232969549 464211328 8560856907 6573472227 6896151645 270697346 7993180807 5653979143 4522073962 7381336775 7717296432 8731389831 469100254 3033158042 3349613163
To be frank, my supervisor had arranged my conversation with Christina Aguilera several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet hare got albinism, so I had to skip the appointment. So, the interview above is mainly the impression of a dream I had following a dinner of wild boar stew and deep-fried Mars bars.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.