Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Surely! I'm the best thing since sliced bread. My power is that I'm all-embracing: I'm known to delight outstanding cosmonauts and crestfallen bookkeepers alike. Say, there are at least 15 plazas with my statue in three different countries, not counting Burundi and Atlantis, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It should be Evangeline Lilly. We were in the same scout troop (go Webworms!) when we were in first grade.
If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Christina Aguilera, what do you think you would have done?
I probably would have become a pro "Tekken 3" player.
A well-known person you recognize as an inspiration?
As my agent keeps repeating, Arthur Schopenhauer, because of our similar way of living.
Christina, do you like opossums?
Why you do not like opossums?
To be frank, they stink! And one opossum bite my cousin's leg. This is one of the reasons I become a singer, so I should rethink my relation with opossums.
Nowaday the problem of pneumonia in groundhogs is attaining gigantic proportions. Are you doing something to mitigate the problem?
Naturally! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a month. The profits ($1,300/night) will be donated to a charity for the cure of pneumonia in groundhogs.
Christina, your zodiac sign is Sagittarius. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, but I don't believe in zodiacal insanity.
Unwillingly, you are in an uncomfortable condition that deters you from doing those things that are in line with your needs. You can take your fate into your hands by retiring for 6 months in an obscure grotto in the most deserted spot of Alabama.
I say! You are dead on!
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