A talk with Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera born December 18th, 1980 (Sagittarius)
The next release from Christina Aguilera will be a vinyl-only album of hip-hop covers of John Lennon greatest hits, sung in Armenian, Mongolian and Javanese (pixabay photo)

Christina, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
My resolution is to obtain soon a special license for steering my hovercraft.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
It is a hare. A large, fat, poised hare, satiated and heavy-eyed in a summer breeze.

Let's imagine for a moment there is somebody in a remote place of the world who'd never experienced your songs. How would you describe your songs to him?
It is hard to think there is such an unfortunate fellow! As I like to say, my songs are like a luscious chocolate cupcake with a shocking inner core of bacon.

If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It should be Alexandra Daddario, since I liked her as Forrest Gump.

Christina, you appear to be always so lively and chirpy. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that each of us has a dark side. For example, when I bump into a so-called artist, rage darkens my heart and I quiver with aversion. And suddenly, I sense the need to seal forever those lecherous eyes. That is my sunny side... I let you figure out how dark my dark side is.

Christina, what’s your worst habit?
Probably my worst defect is that I'm very self-centered. Generally I simply ignore what people say and I wonder If I can sleep with my eyes open.

Some witnesses have seen you in an embarassing setting with a celebrity whose name or gender I've not the permission to reveal. Any comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with S.J..

I may have a photograph.
You know, the photo has probably appeared spontaneously...

Spontaneously? I do not understand.
You know, some drifting photons spontaneously conjured a totally random picture in which you erroneously spotted me. For example, given the right conditions, your office or your car could "spontaneously" start to burn. Do you understand?

I think I've lost that blurred photo anyway...

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Christina Aguilera's home telephone number :
5863609951 5316233279 227147166 5822450098 9328249368 5599474720 3199318596 465607696 7157812081 551107884 6331239366 9354331508 285967689 7494408112 6485098180 3264207538 3038445790 3584141293 4071775785 4582713217
Clearly, singers are busy people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Christina Aguilera peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Thus, this web page is an a psychic transcription we obtained thanks to a reliable mentalist from Denver.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.