A talk with Christina Ricci
Christina Ricci
Christina Ricci born February 12th, 1980 (Aquarius)
Christina Ricci has been less than delighted by the actual location and facilities of the luxury spa she hastily selected from the brochure of the "Final Summons Travels" tour operator (pixabay photo)

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my forthcoming book will soon be printed in another book. What I can divulge here is that it will be a guide to choosing biographers. It will be tattoed on foreheads and backs of 700 fans that will be released in Yonkers.

What do you think of the controversial issue of global warming?
I think that global warming is a messy affair. Anyway, my supporters will appreciate my resolution to purchase a submarine for the possible contingencies.

Do you know Mark Jones (a former toolmaker, now a cardiac technician) from Washington DC?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly married to him. Then there was half a scandal about Mark cheating on her with every stripper from Washington DC suburbia, even barely breathing ones, so their marriage came to an abrupt finale.

Christina, where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next holiday I rented a posh villa in a hidden valley of Val Verde. The only issue was finding a way to make a payment in bitcoins to the easygoing gentleman from Nigeria that contacted me about deal in the interweb.

Your zodiac sign is Aquarius. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, but I don't believe in zodiacal foolery.

You will meet an intoxicated stranger from Austin, a dairy cattle farmer named Dennis with two left feet. He will suggest to open a chipmunk breeding farm in Iowa. It's a lie!
Nonsense! You are spot on!

Could you tell us the story of your next movie?
Sure thing! The temporary title of the movie is "Mildred, Matthew and Rambo". Imagine a man and a woman, which live in Dallas and they do not know each other. Matthew is a detective and Mildred is a medium. When Matthew's pet chipmunk Rambo got myopia they meet at the vet and fall in love. Then they begin a spiritual journey to search for Chycista abrupta (a rare shrub which grows in Burma only), whose roots can save Rambo.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
My true love is Mozart.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Christina Ricci's home telephone number :
3853014003 3298343427 226962310 906298900 4597559131 5496940560 9565334546 6757966275 4725369753 6300050786 4558509776 959619673 5233483081 2800868134 716629748 691657353 7365784500 3567043323 4555215230 735524772
My meeting with Christina Ricci has been patiently lined up many months in advance. The resulting article was stunning, like it was written by Nabokov under the effects of unhealthy beverages. Hence, it was untoward that my uncle Gary destroyed my only copy! After I slept over it, I made an attempt to extract from my crumbling memory those staggering words. Actually, to be aboveboard here: I'm not really sure this web page is a completely truly account of what transpired during our appointment, and now I'm beginning to question whether it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.