Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my spirit tougher, I frequently take a siesta on a cot made of rough sandpaper and shards of glass generously showered with chili.
Christopher, you seem to be always so vivacios and sunny. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I do believe that each of us has a dark side. Sometimes, when I look at a colleague, my sight dims and rage darkens my heart. And all of a sudden, I sense an impulse to erase his grinning smug look. That is my bright side... I let you imagine how my dark side is.
Christopher, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
I think so! Modern studies have demonstrated that smoking self-growed tobacco may have obnoxious long-term aftereffects, like loss of money or painful death. But now you can stop being afraid! Buy "Christopher's wonder", now with Datista communis tincture. Just $29.99 for 80 tablets. (Disclaimer : Not actually a cure. It
usually may cause gastroenteritis or induce suicide. Sugar-free. One tablet contains 100% RDA of cyanide).
Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often. Say every other day or so. But lately Google says "Including results for Christopher Wolken", who apperently is a nutritionist from Sacramento. That's quite depressing, but not as much upsetting as finding that for Yahoo my name sounds like a revolting curse in Bulgarian.
Do you know Virginia P. Richardson (a former gunsmith, now an upholsterer) from San Bernardino?
Not personally, but my uncle has been briefly married to her. Then there was a rumor about the funny suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to a quick conclusion.
What is the fuss about the next Oscar controversy?
Surely, this is an elephant in the room.
Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
Yes. I'm on the set of the remake of "Howard the Duck", a classic whose value has not been perceived by viewers.
Christopher, you are also well known for your unconventional demands when staying in hotels. Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Christopher needs what Christopher needs, and he generally gets it. Whether it's a kitten or mammoth jerky.
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