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An interview with Christopher Walken
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Christopher Walken
Christopher Walken born March 31st, 1943 (Aries)
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Which is Christopher Walken's secret for perpetual youth? Surprisingly, it is a daily soaking into fresh tomato sauce (pixabay photo)

You are always so strapping. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of September I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, blue Smarties and my special Smurf meatloaf.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I liked all of their musicals.

Do you know Charles Morgan (a former conservator, now a meat inspector) from North Las Vegas?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly married to him. Then there was a rumor about some unconventional photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to a quick ending.

Christopher, what do you think about the last Oscar controversy?
Surely, this is a hot potato.

Christopher, are you superstitious?
May so! I need to kiss a doorknob two times before an important encounter.

As everybody knows, the problem of asthma in groundhogs is reaching huge proportions. Is Christopher Walken doing anything in this respect?
Surely! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The proceeds ($1,200 per night) will be granted to an organization for the cure of asthma in groundhogs.

Where do you go when you die?
The corpses do not wander. They normally tend to stay where you lay them.

Can you tell me the square root of 4330849174?
According to my fans one of the possible answers is something around 99.

There is no possibility any of these is Christopher Walken's home telephone number :
5256077764 8021083459 348223180 2921419699 6772272642 599889553 5535947665 7052651324 9662018828 4228141386 767412864 2619039030 2301804994 209744263 2546345780 6784528435 2021393387 9062428985 3920135627 7254402469
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had lined up my interview with Christopher Walken several days beforehand. Unluckily, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like feeding my pet dog or learning Mongolian. So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had following a generous dinner of beans and deep-fried bell peppers.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.