Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Gadzooks! Sometimes I'm frightened by my popularity. I really make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I'm known to move notable Harward professors and ordinary public defenders in the same fashion. Say, there are 16 avenues with my name in two different countries, not counting Rohan and Bahrain.
Chubby, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Chubby's gem". During one of my explorations of the Atacama desert, I uncovered an unremarkable tree unknown to botanists, now named Sinocaprana frigida, which every 10 years blooms and gives fruits whose flavor reminds of pineapples and rust. It may seem strange, but it's kind of addictive.
Which is your earliest memory?
I remember pretty well the moment I was born. It was a night in October. An almost poetic autumn night, windy and gently decadent, still redolent of summer. And amidst all the beauty, I was there, covered from head to toe with blood and other bodily fluids, in a room full of people screaming like banshees, moving around like headless chickens. The first, but not the best day of my life...
I hoped in something more cheerful.
You are a sissy. My existence is like a swim in a sea of lava.
Could you improvise a song for us.
Positively! Here it is
If I may ask, do you have any peculiar fear?
Yes, I do! I have acquired an irrational phobia for venetian blinds, after a curious accident occurred to my cousin. I'm also terrified by spiders, but that is quite common.
I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Indeed! It is unlucky that I have little time, if any, to write. Last month I've read the abridged recap of the book "Of Mice and Men", and I found it quite acceptable. Thus, I've instructed my agent to call the author - a certain John Steinbeck - since I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not heard any answer.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
According to my agent, Leonardo DiCaprio. We are on the same wavelength about cats.
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