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A talk with Claude François
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Claude François
Claude François born February 1st, 1939 (Aquarius)
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In his secret lab Claude François is desperately looking for a way to develop ducks with 4 legs (pixabay photo)

Which is the most shameful DVD in your possession?
Nuts! Apart from "Disaster Movie", I fear it is "Meet the Spartans". One of worst moves of Carmen Electra.

Which is your technique for unblemished skin?
It is a bath in cement once a month.

Could you improvise a song for us.
Yeah! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the lust,
you took the emotions away from me.
A comb, a pen forgotten in a drawer
my only memories of you.
You took yourself away from me,
all that matters you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To reinforce my ego, I frequently meditate on a cot made of rough sandpaper and nails.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is unfortunately very bleak, since there are regions where it is hopeless to find even a passable martini.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Claude François, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Princeton University, signed up for Botanical Robotics 101, failed, and bailed out after a year with an online poker addiction.

Do you know the "word association" game? I say a word and you answer with the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: life.

Claude : boring

Q: hunger
Claude : boring

Q: friends
Claude : boring

I don't think you are in the right mood.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Claude François' secret telephone number :
516811197 281732355 930951813 7674363209 917559755 5941930952 5962102515 5890970985 408399534 2521171601 5133932162 5573023778 6208050937 6500279293 6918796654 2644785810 4211630695 3618416598 9170970205 2239540060
To be honest, my boss had scheduled my hurried talk with Claude François several days beforehand. Unluckily, I decided I had more interesting things to do, like feeding my pet sheep or visiting Canada. So, the transcript above is mainly based on what Claude François would have probably said if I have met him, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.