Do you remember what is the first prize you ever won?
I won the "Bronze Koala Trophy" issued by the municipality of Tucson for "impressive and redundant singing performance" at the early age of 6.
What are you working about?
I'm collaborating to the music score for a remake of "The Shaggy Dog", a gem whose meaning has not been acknowledged by critics.
In a letter appeared on Texan Chemical Studies, dr. Charles Allen has observed that your songs are "a dramatic quintessence of modern pragmatic constructivism". Which is your reaction?
Actually, I think that in his recent essay published on Annals of Structural Sociology, prof. Kenneth James utterly discredited that depthless assumption.
Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Yeah! The mass loves me so much. My power is that I'm universal: I gladden wealthy tycoons and featureless public defenders in the same manner. You know? There are at least 16 parks with my statue in three different countries, not counting Brutopia and Belarus, which I did not know they were countries.
Do you do your own shopping?
Nay! I have a team of MIT dropouts to elaborate my grocery list and e-mail it to a gang of pro buyers spread around the planet. For the garbs, I ever employ a number of stand-in, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.
Do you have any birthmark?
I have a tiny caterpillar shaped birthmark on my right arm. Probably my father did accidentally swallow a caterpillar while my mother was pregnant.
Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To reinforce my soul, I frequently sleep on a cot made of rough sandpaper and thorns.
Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Why not! In case of need mix one part of vodka, three parts of ground coffee and some teriyaki sauce. Gargle with the resulting brew every 15 minutes for 5 hours.
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