An interview with Connie Britton
Connie Britton
Connie Britton born March 6th, 1967 (Pisces)
Connie Britton likes to imagine that in a precedent life she was a squirrel (pixabay photo)

Do you like to cook?
I got to say no! But I like to improvise salads. My cornerstone is a mix of pulled pork and amaranth, which I believe can be suited for both vegetarians and normal people.

Intriguing! Could you share the recipe with us?
All right! You take the pulled pork and the amaranth and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some baguettes.

Do not mind, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you cast off the bread and mix pulled pork and amaranth with some crushed garlic and voilĂ , you are done!

What would you like to do right now?
Buy a moat for my villa.

In an essay published on Journal of Alternate Impressionism, dr. William L. Cox has observed that your movies are "a tragic incarnation of modernistic conceptual vitalism". Anything to add?
Yes, I think that in his interesting paper appeared on European Transactions on Humanistic Hedonism, prof. Michael S. Collins totally refuted that farfetched thesis.

Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
I'm on the set of the sequel of "Jack Frost", a real masterpiece whose relevance has not been acknowledged by the public.

Who were you in your first school play?
I remember it quite well. It was a play on the life of John Adams. I was the comic relief in the part of an obnoxious West Virginia congressman.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Dracula.

With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, right?
WITHOUT all due respect it IS real, in a mockumentary.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Connie Britton's home telephone number :
9415229329 996731326 6541140968 8675696606 8174911582 7580295273 9946973737 5782007274 5069541239 473326166 8874395587 5311542085 8256081862 9822408679 9392227431 8184125028 6157239332 7429451854 3561088598 6270245542
I have a confession to make. My chief had set up my brief appointment with Connie Britton months beforehand. Regrettably, my pet ferret got carbon monoxide poisoning, so I had to skip the conversation. So, the transcript above is mainly the impression of a nightmare I had after a dinner of deep-fried eggplants and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.