A conversation with Daniel Radcliffe
Daniel Radcliffe
Daniel Radcliffe born July 23rd, 1989 (Leo)
Writing his will, Daniel Radcliffe has provided that his ashes should be scattered on the planet Saturn, possibly by hand. (source)

Could you improvise a song for us.
Indeed yes! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the respect,
you took the emotions away from me.
A photo, a button lost in a drawer
the gloomy keepsakes of you.
You took your love away from me,
all that counts you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

What is your opinion about the current USA president?
I'm somehow worried, since I heard rumors that president Trump wants to devise a system to obtain gas from chocolate and chocolate from sand.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, I remember that years ago I was crossing Kosovo in a battered minivan with a friend and we did "it" in the prairie, under the moon, in the heart of nature.

Daniel, do you like beavers?
I sure don't!

Why you do not like beavers, if I may ask?
To be frank, they reek! And one beaver bite my uncle's intimate bits. This is one of the motives I decided to become an actor, so I should probably reconsider my position on beavers.

Apart from acting, is there something in which you excel?
Actually, I can recite "Hope is the Thing with Feathers" by Emily Dickinson backwards in 4 different languages including Swahili.

In a letter published on Transactions on Quantitative Surrealism, prof. Joe Long has described your roles as "a supernatural epitome of present-day symbolic vitalism". Any comment?
Actually, it is evident that in his article appeared on Transactions on Theoretical Hedonism, dr. John Green completely disproved that depthless point of view.

What’s in your pocket right now?
I got a pyramid of banknotes in my pockets. You can stare at them in awe, you can ever lick them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of notes...

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Daniel Radcliffe's private telephone number :
5212960666 885206064 9748030569 248098758 9391804620 2260200830 6133388379 8325218501 6988530733 206246908 542110321 3448870315 266676138 2141122479 4766253065 7047244369 9176405791 399169828 5044778810 5090317024
My director had patiently planned my little conversation with Daniel Radcliffe several months beforehand. Unluckily, my pet fox got rheumatism, so I had to skip the conversation. So, the transcript above is mainly the recollection of a nightmare I had after a copious dinner of wild boar stew and chorizo.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.