Cookie Consent by A conversation with Dave Bautista
A conversation with Dave Bautista
Dave Bautista
Dave Bautista born January 18th, 1969 (Capricorn)
By popular demand of his fans, Dave Bautista will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a month. The profits ($800/night) will go to a charity for the cure of bubonic plague in anteaters (source)

If I may say so, Dave, you are also well known for your singular demands when staying in hotels. Is it true? Could you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Lately I've found that I can't survive without one of Ridley Scott's movies or champagne-infused chamomile-tea bags delivered everyday to my room.

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Indeed! It is unfortunate that I have so little time, if any, to put down the words. Last month I've read the inside flap of "The Hobbit", and I found it more or less palatable. Therefore, I've instructed my agent to call the author - a certain J.R.R. Tolkien - since I need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any news.

Dave, your zodiac sign is Capricorn. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, but I don't believe in zodiacal absurdity.

Today a bothersome irritability and an exhaustingly stressful situation are sabotaging your hope for a peaceful soul, but with respect to next Sunday today is not so bad, so good luck.
Humph! You are dead on!

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, in case of need mix three parts of white wine, one part of coffee and some Thousand Island dressing. Apply the resulting mixture on your forehead and your chin.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Jack Sparrow.

I don't want to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, right?
I need to call my agent.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Yup! Here it is

The elk of despair
The feral elk of despair
feeds on the dreary pastures of wreck
when I look in the eye this existence hallucination.
If only it had been the pig of despair
I could have bacon at least.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Dave Bautista's private telephone number :
3705284865 525557904 7128297037 5759425057 550521576 646544790 8717443913 7900418020 4419751927 9553627490 9916241667 923841085 698789716 9174475996 7673539448 685830780 702567329 9940927501 6376008242 4566461509
My chief had patiently planned my little conversation with Dave Bautista many months beforehand. Regrettably, I fall asleep watching the DVD of "Fred Claus". So, the interview above is mainly based on what Dave Bautista would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.