David, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Yes! Don't let the color of your skin railroad you out of your dreams. Sun block and sunscreen have been invented for a reason.
What happen if you play your song "Space Oddity" backward?
Earth may disintegrate.
Your zodiac sign is Capricorn. Are you a typical Capricorn?
Heaven forbid! I'm sometimes gloomy, quite attentive, headstrong and restless. My friends say that I'm also a bit contradictory but that I think it is normal in artists.
Could you refute the hearsay about your participation in the rogue crisis of Sasquatch photos?
Thou, frothy bat-fowling gudgeon! How do you dare?
Do you have any birthmark?
I guess so! I have a tiny squid shaped birthmark on my left wrist. Probably my mother did involuntarily ingest a squid while she was expecting me.
In a letter published on Croatian Transactions on Pragmatic Ethnocentrism, dr. Reginald Flores observed that your songs are "a dramatic recapitulation of modernistic symbolic objectivism". Any comment?
Well, in his essay printed on Annals of Alternate Anthropology, prof. Kenneth Johnson completely rebuked that illogical theory.
Do you know Bill Brooks (a former clothing patternmaker, now a food technologist) from Pasadena?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly engaged to him. Then there was some commotion about some peculiar photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to a sudden ending.
Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Yep! They can't have enough of me. I really make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I gladden successful heirs and commonplace roadkills collectors in the same way. You know? There are 15 plazas with my statue in three different countries, not counting Andorra and Qumar.
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