A conversation with David Guetta
David Guetta
David Guetta born November 7th, 1967 (Scorpio)
David Guetta is currently writing a guide to choosing dental floss, a long due work soon to be released in daily instalments. (pixabay photo)

Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I really can't use common brands. My toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Saxicistia foetidissima, an almost extinct shrub native of Kazirstan.

When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional singer?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, caterpillars will rule the earth without the need for secrecy.

Present-day world seems prone to a wave of relentless ferocity and violence. What would David Guetta do?
I think we can learn from past films, like "Brazil" and "A Clockwork Orange".

Who are your heroes?
Julius Caesar, Dracula, and myself.

Which super power do you have?
Not a big deal! I hear ultrasounds, since I was 10, mostly if it is raining. Probably this is not so remarkable in awesome people with Apache neighbors.

Which is your favorite movie?
Surely "Wild Hogs". I think that William H. Macy was really in the "zone".

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Surely Charlemagne.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yeah! In case of need mix one part of scotch, three parts of energy drink and some teriyaki sauce. Drink the resulting concoction every 10 minutes for 4 hours.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being David Guetta's private telephone number :
858938224 6369212202 6412723785 7556849767 7247791903 7899427320 4981608720 5627486694 696428817 9382235333 8481886170 8542394330 5120520814 7833950667 7125357597 5299969326 9102215842 7246931055 849335044 419896896
To be sincere, my director had patiently lined up my little meeting with David Guetta days beforehand. Regrettably, I decided I had more interesting things to do, like growing medicinal herbs or collecting toothbrushes. So, the transcript above is essentially the recollection of a dream I had after a dinner of beans and deep-fried eggplants.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.