A talk with Denise Crosby
Denise Crosby
Denise Crosby born November 24th, 1957 (Sagittarius)
Using a false name, Denise Crosby has partecipated and has been expelled from the latest Beard and Moustache Championship (source)

Denise, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make?
I asked myself: "What do people like most?" the answer is gummy bears! So I bought 2900000 boxes of gummy bears which I secreted in my castle, waiting for the price to go up.

Should you give up acting, which kind of occupation would you like to pick up?
Almost surely that of Smarties color sorter. I already have quite an experience in that field.

Which is your favorite snack?
Bacon slices with wasabi, a lettuce leaf, two cheddar cheese slices, and a few drops of fernet.

Do you have any superpower?
Not a secret! Fattening fast, since I was 3, except on Saturdays. This helped quite a lot in my career.

You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I lived 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I got the idea it was not the Sheraton hotel. In the meantime, I learnt to project my aura, about 5 inches far.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
Yep! It was an uncanny experience. At a certain point, the ghost of King Arthur manifested and established that I'm the reincarnation of a Steven Hawking's homonym.

You're right on the target in "Pet Sematary". Were you given a lot of freedom to create your character?
Oh, yes! Oh, I nailed it! In the original screenplay my character was a man. With a glass eye, for Pete's sake!

What's the strangest nightmare you’ve ever had?
I dreamed being spanked by a Max Planck impersonator. I kept repeating "I did not sell my neighbor's gerbil".

Denise Crosby refused to divulge her home telephone number, but here are some random numbers you can dream about :
9182105972 857896314 9960653076 545360162 332332131 235579033 606223508 271687820 5284287307 991707641 860803970 5134918424 2296186726 5113546095 2384356246 244445542 2428218902 9104952479 9308398543 6210107135
I patiently set up a brief meeting with Denise Crosby many days in advance. The resulting article was excellent, like "Hamlet" rewritten by Hellboy. It was lamentable, to put it mildly, that my doctor (probably on purpose!) destroyed my only copy! After I dissimulated devastating emotions, I attempted to recall those imposing words. I want to be frank, I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page is a totally truthful report of our conversation, and thus I'm beginning to wonder if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.