A talk with Diana Ross
Diana Ross
Diana Ross born March 26th, 1944 (Aries)
Diana Ross is presently put in writing a guide to choosing dental floss, a long due work soon to be released in montly instalments. (pixabay photo)

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Might as well! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the respect,
you took your passion away from me.
A photo, a comb forgotten in a drawer
the gloomy vestiges of you.
You took away all that I had,
everything you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

Which super power do you have?
This a secret! I spit lava. This could help quite a lot at family reunions.

Diana, you are always in fine fettle. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: in September I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue Smarties and my special Smurf hash.

Do you have any vice?
It is telling the truth when it no longer seems a virtue. It's possible that you are going to judge me for that, but another vice of mine is not giving a damn.

Do you do your own shopping?
Like hell! Actually, I have a crew of Georgia Tech dropouts to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a group of professional buyers around the globe. For the clothes, I ever hire a bunch of doubles, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.

Which is your forthcoming musical adventure?
Next week I'll release a cryptic album of acid jazz covers of Ray Charles greatest hits, sung in Bengali, Japanese and Estonian. I believe it will be the climax of my career.

What is the most uncanny nightmare that you remember?
Not actually a dream: I was in a deserted dim space. A strange smell diffused in the air. Then I realized I got stoned at a rerun of "Parting Shots" in a murky movie house near Chicago.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
I'd have to say Spiderman.

You know that that's not a real person, right?
It IS real, in a docudrama.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Diana Ross' secret telephone number is listed here :
3317425142 492035540 9882133596 420238443 676065214 5134912787 818140010 4859146311 7563780518 931258193 7260887856 634633718 6762040391 6431659827 4278592275 518995950 205069080 5676581484 491885310 8080376102
I have a confession to make. My chief had patiently planned my little rendezvous with Diana Ross many weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I realized I had better things to do, like walking my pet bear or growing parasitic plants. So, the interview above is mainly the impression of a dream I had after a heavy dinner of cabbage stew and raw broccoli.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Lana Del Rey Taylor Swift Ben E. King Brit Marling Kristin Chenoweth Lauren Graham Michael Keaton Denise Richards Guy Pearce Meat Loaf Will Ferrell Hayley Atwell Evan Ross Cyndi Lauper Ciara Bravo Janis Ian Sarah Paulson Jason Momoa Tiffany
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.