A talk with Dominic Cooper
Dominic Cooper
Dominic Cooper born June 2nd, 1978 (Gemini)
Like many Gemini people, Dominic Cooper is likely to develop a candies addiction (pixabay photo)

What do you have in your pockets?
This is a tricky one. Because this interview is a dream of your mischievous neurons, I'm completely naked, so no pockets at all.

Dominic, what are your feelings about president Donald Trump?
You are just a bit naughty, but I assured my cat I would not embarass myself in public, so I'd pretend I did not understand the question.

Could you suggest a remedy for warts?
Yes, in case of warts, mix three parts of sparkling wine, one part of coffee and some chives in the skull of a raccoon, then gargle with the resulting brew every 15 minutes for 4 hours.

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To toughen my soul, I often rest on a bunk made of broken glass liberally sprinkled with salt.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor Dominic Cooper, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Bowdoin College, signed up for Qualitative Utopianism 101, failed, and bailed out a month after that with an online poker addiction.

Do you do your own shopping?
I reckon not! Usually, I retain a crew of shopping gurus to elaborate my grocery list and e-mail it to a number of professional buyers scattered around the planet. For the clothes, I ever hire a team of surrogates, one for each body part.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a tiny squid shaped birthmark on my left leg. Probably my father did have a nightmare involving a squid while my mother was expecting me.

Do you have problems with movie directors?
Once in a lifetime you have directors who are awesome people like me, but usually they are just a bunch of nincompoops.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Dominic Cooper's secret telephone number :
8111036792 5792404731 3519642819 682913401 7390427554 2280520066 2153716189 7787802881 3584495492 2200257438 9962875783 810160429 4524795463 2105961031 8063481355 8520658878 354055658 308798471 2706382371 9480753998
My brief conversation with Dominic Cooper has been set up many weeks in advance. The resulting article was stunning, like it was written by Barbara Cartland under the influence of too much beer. Thus, it was awfully regrettable that my cousin Andrew (on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I put the blame on karma, I tried to remember those impressive words. To be straight, I'm not so confident this web page contains a completely genuine report of our meeting, and thus I'm starting to wonder if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.