Cookie Consent by An interview with Don McLean
An interview with Don McLean
Don McLean
Don McLean born October 2nd, 1945 (Libra)
Don McLean is sponsoring the introduction of seashells as an alternative medium of exchange to contrast the diffusion of bitcoins (pixabay photo)

I'm here tonight with a special guest, Don McLean, who just saw the birth of his last album. Hi, Don, and welcome to An Afternoon With Somebody.
I say it was about time you guys invited me. I saw Jake Gyllenhaal the other night and, honestly, I did not like it.

Don, have you made plans for the New Year?
Actually, there have been some disputes with my agent, so to get to dough, next year I will be forced to use the name "Don McLyan".

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Franky, common brands are for common people. My toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Dicoxyla spinosa, an elusive orchid which grows only in Sierra Leone.

Don, where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next holiday I leased a luxurious palace in a hidden valley of Bangistan. The only problem was finding a way to make a payment in Linden dollars to the amiable estate agent from Nigeria that contacted me about business.

You seem to be always so joyful and positive. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. Everyone has two sides. At times, when I face another artist, my teeth chatter with fury and hatred makes my legs quiver. And all of a sudden, I fight the need to obliterate his sneering smirk. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to anything to do with that side.

You are always fit as a flea. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: in November I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue potatoes and my special Smurf meatloaf.

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
O.K.! I have acquired an irrational fear for cookies, on account of a strange accident happened to my uncle. I'm also terrified by porcelain dolls, but that is quite common.

Which is your method for eternal youth?
It is a soaking into cement twice a week.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Don McLean's private telephone number :
9843250456 5989127135 888645680 2349164583 6306597981 549608375 4482074229 4355157762 3008142252 4429817969 657416139 7612610988 8825364651 6261131676 667574244 504116594 331064978 4575471386 663150125 5249985709
My director had arranged my hurried meeting with Don McLean several days beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet weasel got chickenpox, so I had to skip the conversation. So, this web page is essentially the recollection of a nightmare I had after a dinner of beans and raw broccoli.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.