A conversation with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
Donald Trump in an ingenious disguise meant to fool importune fans (pixabay photo)

Where did you go on your last holiday?
Last month I rented a ritzy manor in a secluded valley of Ecuador. The payment included a moat surrounding the manor to protect my privacy but also a flock of local extras portraying paparazzi to let me feel loved.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a violet opossum on my knee. It contains a tracker, so I can be salvaged if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works only if I'm somehow au naturel.

Donald, what is your opinion on the security threats posed by alien refugees from Markovia?
I'm no racist but everybody knows nothing good has ever come from a shithole place like Markovia and a law to block them is already in the doing.

Which is your favorite snack?
Cabbage leaves with black vinegar, a frozen pizza, three apples, and some rum.

Donald, are you superstitious?
Aye! I give a secret handshake to a random stranger right before a significant interview. Obviously not this one.

Which is the coolest flag?
Surely the flag of Carpathia, probably because it has my face in a corner. Carpathia is a beautiful but desperate country. They are so impoverished their currency is printed on used train tickets.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my fantastic cure. In case of drunkness mix two parts of beer, three parts of energy drink and some ranch dressing. Drink the resulting potion every 15 minutes for at least 5 hours.

Which is your secret for unblemished skin?
As you may have suspected, it is a daily shower in fresh tomato sauce.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Donald Trump's home telephone number :
6469005935 327366883 9201928733 8044630191 6433238669 7729748891 4067553842 9198622104 7842319016 9693133916 814626862 546639613 2379167722 7590483740 5673140125 4532553947 3189284454 3219216460 6689526596 9694306202
Let's face it, celebrities are frantic people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Donald Trump peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Thus, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer simulation of Donald.
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Donald Trump Will Ferrell Michael C. Hall Lesley-Ann Brandt Kiki Dee Peggy Lipton Cate Blanchett Shane West Michael B. Jordan Margot Robbie Megan Boone Joel Kinnaman Paula Patton Suzanne Vega Joey King Elisha Cuthbert Paolo Conte Christian Bale Natalie Imbruglia Sting
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.