Where did you go on your last holiday?
Last month I rented a ritzy manor in a secluded valley of Ecuador. The payment included a moat surrounding the manor to protect my privacy but also a flock of local extras portraying paparazzi to let me feel loved.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a violet opossum on my knee. It contains a tracker, so I can be salvaged if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works only if I'm somehow au naturel.
Donald, what is your opinion on the security threats posed by alien refugees from Markovia?
I'm no racist but everybody knows nothing good has ever come from a shithole place like Markovia and a law to block them is already in the doing.
Which is your favorite snack?
Cabbage leaves with black vinegar, a frozen pizza, three apples, and some rum.
Donald, are you superstitious?
Aye! I give a secret handshake to a random stranger right before a significant interview. Obviously not this one.
Which is the coolest flag?
Surely the flag of Carpathia, probably because it has my face in a corner. Carpathia is a beautiful but desperate country. They are so impoverished their currency is printed on used train tickets.
Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my fantastic cure. In case of drunkness mix two parts of beer, three parts of energy drink and some ranch dressing. Drink the resulting potion every 15 minutes for at least 5 hours.
Which is your secret for unblemished skin?
As you may have suspected, it is a daily shower in fresh tomato sauce.
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