Fighting for a better world is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my ego tougher, I periodically take a siesta on a bunk made of rough sandpaper and shards of glass.
What’s the best sound in the world?
Honestly? It is the comforting whisper of a bunch of new banknotes caressing each other. However, my aide urges you to write instead something more mainstream, for example "the consoling purr of a content kitten" or "the merry giggle of a light-hearted child ".
Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often anymore. Say every three hours. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Donald Trymp", who happens to be a former network analyst from Indianapolis. That's quite annoying, but not as much worrisome as discovering that according to Yahoo my name sounds like a shocking curse in Russian.
Apart from ruling the world, is there one thing you do better than anybody else?
I can balance a pencil on my elbow.
How popular do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I dunno. Probably, I'm a three in Mongolia, but a nine in Fresno.
President Trump, what is your take on the rumors of a meddling of officers from Elbonia with your politics?
I can strongly swear that no one in my circle had colluded with Elbonia, but I can't swear for Anthony Scaramucci.
Did you ever participated in a séance?
I think so! But just one time. It was an uncanny experience. Suddenly, the spirit of Alexander the Great appeared and hypothesized that I'm the reincarnation of a Henry VIII of England's homonym.
Which is your secret for unblemished skin?
Curiously, it is a dousing with fresh cement twice a day.
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