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A talk with Donald Trump
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Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
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In his secret grotto Donald Trump is frantically searching a way to create chickens with 4 legs (pixabay photo)

What is the strangest nightmare you remember?
I dreamed being reproached by the ghost of Alan Turing. I kept yelling "I did not paint my uncle's raccoon".

What can you tell us about your plans for education?
Well, Elisabeth DeVos told me that public schools mainly form gayish mimes and fast-food waiters. It's a huge waste of money. So Betsy and me will study how to move a few of the public schools where rent is cheaper, like Mojave desert or possibly Canada.

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar fear?
I have acquired an irrational phobia for cookies, because of an uncanny accident occurred to my cousin. I'm also scared by dark places, but that is quite normal.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Between you and me? It is the exciting swish of a bunch of new banknotes caressing each other. But please, write instead something more fashionable, like "the calming purr of a little kitten" or "the first word of your baby".

If you didn't grow up to become known as the president Donald Trump, what do you think you would have done?
I probably would have become a pro "Super Mario Galaxy 2" player.

Where do you go when you die?
In a cemetery, most of the times. If you are cremated then your remains can rest in some dull place.

What is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 8, I won the "Chocolate Monkey Cup" issued by the Mayor of Fresno for "memorable but unneeded businessing achievement".

Donald, you are well known for your eccentric demands when staying in hotels. Is it true? Could you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
I can't live without a kitten or spicy cotton-candy delivered daily to my room.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Donald Trump's home telephone number :
7566657618 6460013697 4250976590 7120388619 8743615245 5845129640 4949645455 217072253 252269914 9604660287 3622487729 263052750 4332223347 4461605992 9746007008 7058625836 9184783747 4003043255 338348663 5012201892
I queued up for many weeks for an occasion to have a little exchange with Donald Trump. The resulting piece was wondrous, like it was written by the ghost of Emily Dickinson after too much scotch. Hence, it was highly regrettable that my armadillo set my only copy on fire! After I dissimulated devastating emotions, I attempted to summon up those stunning words. Actually, to be honest, I'm not so confident this web page contains an entirely accurate account of our interview, and thus I'm beginning to wonder if it ever happened...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Tatiana Maslany Nicole Beharie Melissa Joan Hart Zooey Deschanel Lake Bell A.J. Cook Diane Kruger Bette Midler Walton Goggins Bill Murray Charlie Hunnam Bill Nighy Gilbert O'Sullivan Jim Carrey Alexis Knapp Haley Bennett Dakota Johnson Jill Hennessy Scarlett Johansson
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.