A talk with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
The elated look of fans who have stumbled upon Donald Trump (pixabay photo)

I'm here tonight with Donald Trump, who just saw the birth of his last political endeavour. Hi, Donald, and welcome to Stuff Your Brain Doesn't Need.
It's a pleasure being here, especially because I can't remember if you owe me money.

Are you allergic to anything?
Guess so! I have a little intolerance to kangaroo tears, ethanol and poverty.

Does your assistant use an alias when he makes reservation for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to steer clear of stalkers and paparazzi
You bet! I go to any length to evade those cannibals. We often employ the alias "Donald Trymp".

What motivated you to become president?
It's better than working...

Did you ever participated in a séance?
Yeah! But just once. It was a very excruciating experience. At a certain point, the ghost of Augustus manifested and conjectured that I'm probably the reincarnation of a neighbor of Joan of Arc.

Donald, you are always fit as a flea. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of August I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue Smarties and my special Smurf hash.

President Trump, you must admit that your first executive orders have not been exceedingly popular. Which is the next move?
In due time, I promise I will create a Presidential something to beat male baldness. I remember that Tutankhamun wrote, "The United States has to move very fast to even stand still".

President Trump, according to some rumors, you have been in a particular situation with a superstar whose name and whose gender I've not the authorization to tell. Do you care to comment?
Thou, mangled common-kissing clack-dish! I deny any such "situation", in particular one with V.M..

I may have a photo.
You know, I'm sure the photo is only an impression...

An impression? What do you mean?
Well, just an impression. Like when you have the impression everything is totally cool and then for no apparent reason your dear one and your father fly into pieces. Capeesh?

I think you are right, this is a photo of my pet beaver...

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Donald Trump's home telephone number :
6798012572 257221832 584681305 377343574 4115298326 5877797558 244701260 765028541 4334871018 4615664007 6282039595 782118828 8504011214 584237530 988301992 900192164 672180676 9213581606 799112378 4765069083
I lay in wait for weeks for a chance to have a short interview with Donald Trump. The resulting piece was marvelous, like it was written by John Steinbeck under the effects of prescription stimulants. It was very regrettable, to put it mildly, that my armadillo by accident (I assume) devoured my only copy! After I put myself together, I struggled to recapture those great words. To be clear, I'm not really so sure this web page is an entirely truly chronicle of what transpired during our interview, and I'm starting to doubt it ever took place...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Kirsten Dunst Tricia Helfer Robyn Emily Mortimer Christina Applegate Hilary Swank Juno Temple Teri Polo Mary Steenburgen Harrison Ford T.J. Miller Ashlee Simpson Hailee Steinfeld Imogen Poots Dr. Dre Jamie Chung David Tennant Johnny Depp Tom Jones
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.