I'm here tonight with Donald Trump, who just saw the birth of his last political endeavour. Hi, Donald, and welcome to Stuff Your Brain Doesn't Need.
It's a pleasure being here, especially because I can't remember if you owe me money.
Are you allergic to anything?
Guess so! I have a little intolerance to kangaroo tears, ethanol and poverty.
Does your assistant use an alias when he makes reservation for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to steer clear of stalkers and paparazzi
You bet! I go to any length to evade those cannibals. We often employ the alias "Donald Trymp".
What motivated you to become president?
It's better than working...
Did you ever participated in a séance?
Yeah! But just once. It was a very excruciating experience. At a certain point, the ghost of Augustus manifested and conjectured that I'm probably the reincarnation of a neighbor of Joan of Arc.
Donald, you are always fit as a flea. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of August I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue Smarties and my special Smurf hash.
President Trump, you must admit that your first executive orders have not been exceedingly popular. Which is the next move?
In due time, I promise I will create a Presidential something to beat male baldness. I remember that Tutankhamun wrote, "The United States has to move very fast to even stand still".
President Trump, according to some rumors, you have been in a particular situation with a superstar whose name and whose gender I've not the authorization to tell. Do you care to comment?
Thou, mangled common-kissing clack-dish! I deny any such "situation", in particular one with V.M..
I may have a photo.
You know, I'm sure the photo is only an impression...
An impression? What do you mean?
Well, just an impression. Like when you have the impression everything is totally cool and then for no apparent reason your dear one and your father fly into pieces. Capeesh?
I think you are right, this is a photo of my pet beaver...
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