An interview with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
Donald Trump is always looking for new ways to stay in contact with his supporters. (source)

Donald, your zodiac sign is Gemini. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal insanity.

You have amassed a lot of hatred inside that can burst at any moment. You will feel better only if you forget or destroy somebody who has angered you in the past.
Gadzooks! You are dead on!

Where do you go when you die?
When you are going to never need to shave again, so to speak, you generally also develop the habit to hang around.

Who are your heroes?
James Cook, Jack Sparrow, and myself.

On a scale of one to ten, how popular are you?
I forgot the statistics. I think I'm a one in Indianapolis, but a nine in Tibet.

Have you made plans for the New Year?
Actually, there is a complicate situation involving the inheritance of my late uncle from Indonesia, and so to get to dough, next year I will be known as "Donald Tromp".

What would Donald Trump do to solve the issue of violence and ferocity that is menacing modern world?
You know, I think that assigning a bodyguard to every citizen can make wonders, but most liberal administrators are selfish old lads scarcely attentive to my advice.

You are just back from a political tour in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I lived 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Hilton hotel. However, I learnt to incapacitate gnats by staring at them.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Donald Trump's home telephone number :
8185085631 462078490 322763461 752963615 5392017529 9611895388 5857346588 4076803851 729097043 7831733534 5354881646 7133788855 9006952065 8715321201 8927890270 7855121062 7831068089 938262511 4978738001 9799519687
I patiently sat tight for many weeks for the privilege to have a short rendezvous with Donald Trump. The resulting piece was wondrous, like "Slaughterhouse-Five" rewritten by Catwoman. So, it was damaging that my armadillo (maybe on purpose!) set my only copy on fire! After I put myself together, I made an attempt to extract from my vanishing memory those mind-boggling words. I want to be straight, I'm not really so certain this web page is an entirely precise run-down of our rendezvous, and now I'm starting to question whether it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.