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A talk with Donald Trump
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Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
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The favorite diversion of Donald Trump is collecting and trading dummies (pixabay photo)

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Without doubt Sam Claflin, since we are on the same page about Bart Simpson.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Sure! Here it is

The bobcat of misery
The bleak bobcat of misery
drops dead on the muddy meadows of mourning
while I look in the eye my existence wreck.
If only it had been the pork of misery
we could have bacon at least.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have an orange sheep on my elbow. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be rescued if I am abducted, but unfortunately it works only if I'm a little disrobed.

Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often anymore. Say every other day or so. But lately Google says "Including results for Donald Trymp", who apperently is an obstetrician from Boston. That's quite distressing, but not as much embarassing as discovering that for Bing my name is similar to an awful curse in Japanese.

President Trump, your first executive orders have been strongly criticized. Do you have other plans?
In due time, I promise I will promote a Presidential something to beat male baldness. Afterall, I remember that Mozart once wrote, "It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs".

What would you like to do right now?
Talk of many things, like human frailty.

What do you have in your pockets?
I got a pile of money in my pockets. You may stare at them, you can ever lick them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of banknotes...

Donald, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make in your career?
Take note: when CD walkmen will be in vogue again I will have my revenge.

Donald Trump refused to share his private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
2369290016 347876191 2485030391 9770805284 892073162 979559334 937985521 576982097 414900390 5542188772 524115547 3313152480 6514970736 6854163917 7029702907 9725287924 5285258014 9230609833 5904040959 2941127481
I have a confession to make. My boss had set up my little meeting with Donald Trump many months beforehand. Unluckily, I got stoned watching the DVD of "Dungeon and Dragons". So, the transcript above is mainly based on what Donald Trump would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Michael Caine Rachel Nichols Chubby Checker Eric Clapton Jude Law Ron Perlman Brandon Routh Carla Gugino Jennifer Lawrence Ming-Na Wen James Spader Cyndi Lauper Kim Wilde Julia Stiles Vera Lynn Courteney Cox David Guetta Dakota Johnson Karl Urban
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.