Cookie Consent by An interview with Donald Trump
An interview with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
Donald Trump has obtained an honorable mention in one of the past editions of the Beard and Moustache Championship (source)

You have been the recipient of several awards. Can you tell us what is the first award you ever won?
At the age of 10, I won the "Platinum Gnu Trophy" assigned by the municipality of Boston for "remarkable yet unneeded bossing around exhibition".

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I can't use industrial products anymore. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Tetrarella decorata, an almost extinct shrub native of Chile.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a green chipmunk on my forearm. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be find if I get lost in Seattle outskirts, but unluckily it works only if I'm slightly disrobed.

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Indeed! It is untoward that I have so little time, if any, to write. Last week I've read the back cover of the book "The Tell-Tale Heart", and I found it passable. Thus, I've ordered my assistant to contact the author - a certain Edgar Allan Poe - since I really need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not received any news.

Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
People say that only the 7th son of a 7th son has total recall, but I have a clear memory of the moment I was born. You know, it was a day in June. An almost lyric spring day, redolent of flowers and light rain. And amidst all the beauty, I was there, covered from head to toe with blood, in a room full of yelling people. The first, but not the best day of my life...

Life seems better now.
You are a sissy. My entire existence is like an immersion in a pool of lava. And I savor every moment of it.

Donald, you are always in fine fettle. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: during the month of June I eat just blue foods, like blueberries, blue Smarties, blue crabs and my special Smurf meat pie.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the president Donald Trump, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to the White House and made sipping sounds until they gave me a job.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Donald Trump's private telephone number :
275439678 3861559129 5193520368 8909547015 8953253787 7240717542 7963359277 8028234941 8515437669 9855189850 6285241121 7805136431 4841203986 9464609114 983928226 385878011 8646361477 2490328459 601939968 6922733680
I sat tight forever for the privilege to have a short interview with Donald Trump. The resulting interview was impressive, like "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" rewritten by Wolverine. So, it was very unlucky, to put it mildly, that my neighbor by accident (I assume) destroyed my only copy! After I restored my sobriety, I attempted to recollect those stunning words. I want to be frank, I'm not so sure this web page contains an absolutely factual account of what transpired during our exchange, and thus I'm beginning to question whether it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.