An interview with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
Donald Trump has been a little disappointed by the true position and facilities of the super-ritzy resort he carelessly selected from the web site of the "D.O.A. Travels" tour operator (pixabay photo)

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to figure it when you live in a pink cloud pampered by willing servants, but there are regions where it is impossible to find even a barely so-so apple martini.

A fictional character you recognize as an imaginary friend?
As my fans like to think, Charlemagne, because of our awesomeness.

You are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of May I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, blue corn and blue jays died by natural causes.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a panther. A large, fat, serene panther, replete and dozy in the summer shade.

Donald, what can you tell us about your plans for education?
Well, Elisabeth DeVos told me that public schools mainly supply butlers and queer truck drivers. According to my scientists all these jobs will be performed by cyborgs in the next 2 years. So old Betsy and me will study a way to give public scholars all the needed know-how in a crash course of no more than 3 or 4 months. All the other "knowledge" can be secured for free on internet.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
To get the crowd pleased I always make an encore of "Foolish" by Ashanti.

Donald, do you like zebras?
Not likely!

For which reason you do not like zebras?
They stink! And one zebra bite my grandpa in his privy bits. That was one of the reasons I decided to become the President of USA, so I may probably rethink my position on zebras.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Donald Trump's home telephone number :
8392480422 2039018657 420379290 3548908812 3646349927 3537426406 9630063413 534568578 6124840289 700207785 3680340198 6459745177 302142590 4099885703 9337514492 4678987975 7851843351 2852235286 7727742381 2930010578
Clearly, presidents are very busy people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Donald Trump totally alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Hence, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained employing a certified mentalist.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.