What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to figure it when you live in a pink cloud pampered by willing servants, but there are regions where it is impossible to find even a barely so-so apple martini.
A fictional character you recognize as an imaginary friend?
As my fans like to think, Charlemagne, because of our awesomeness.
You are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of May I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, blue corn and blue jays died by natural causes.
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a panther. A large, fat, serene panther, replete and dozy in the summer shade.
Donald, what can you tell us about your plans for education?
Well, Elisabeth DeVos told me that public schools mainly supply butlers and queer truck drivers. According to my scientists all these jobs will be performed by cyborgs in the next 2 years. So old Betsy and me will study a way to give public scholars all the needed know-how in a crash course of no more than 3 or 4 months. All the other "knowledge" can be secured for free on internet.
Which is your favorite karaoke song?
To get the crowd pleased I always make an encore of "Foolish" by Ashanti.
Donald, do you like zebras?
For which reason you do not like zebras?
They stink! And one zebra bite my grandpa in his privy bits. That was one of the reasons I decided to become the President of USA, so I may probably rethink my position on zebras.
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •