What would you like to do right now?
Talk of many things, like your mortality.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have an orange horse on my knee. It is bioluminescent, so I can be find if I get lost in a desert, but unfortunately it works only if I'm somehow undressed.
Do you use a pseudonym when you make reservation for, say, a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to avoid supporters and reporters
Absolutely! I'll do whatever is necessary to evade those barbarians. I often use the moniker "Donald Trimp".
President Trump, your relations with CIA have not been completely smooth...
You bet your boots! I don't deny I'm rather disappointed in these Choleric Inefficient Amateurs and their unreasonable prying in the actions of our Russian allies. Probably, they are just bored. I will instruct them to instigate a coup d'état in Archenland. It's what they do, after all.
President Trump, many sources report you do not like books, what do you have to say?
When you enter illumination, you do not need books anymore, because you can grab culture right from your inner self.
What would Donald Trump do to solve the problem of violence and criminality that is jeopardizing modern society?
Well, I think that lending one million of dollars to every person would fix many problems, but most liberal politicians are just selfish aged lads little enticed by my suggestions.
President Trump, you surely know that just 3 countries (United States, Myanmar, and Liberia) do not use metric system. What are your projects in this regard?
I realized that it is inconvenient that so many continents don't understand the poetry of purchasing a peck of wheat or buying a barrel of gin. So I resolved to pay the weak rulers of Pokolistan and Borduria to pressure them to adopt the USA customary units. Today Borduria, tomorrow Belarus or even Swaziland.
What do you eat between meals?
Flour grains with salt and pepper, a bread slice, three sweet corns, and a glass of vodka.
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