I heard you are just back from a political tour in Tibet. How was your stay?
Actually, I lived 2 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Hilton hotel. The silver lining? I learnt to stun mosquitoes by staring at them.
President Trump, you must admit that your first executive orders have been strongly criticized. Do you have other plans?
As soon as possible, I will disclose my tax returns, but in Sudoku form. I remember that Albert Einstein wrote, "The United States has to move very fast to even stand still".
President Trump, what is your take on the risks due to immigrants from Wakanda?
I'm no racist but everybody knows nothing good comes from Wakanda and I'm planning to build a freedom wall all around Wakanda.
Do you know Douglas Perry (a former engraver, now a specialist physician) from Allentown?
No, I don't, but my aunt has been betrothed to him for 3 weeks. Then there was half a scandal about some licentious photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to an abrupt finale.
If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Without doubt Thomas Alva Edison.
What motivated you to become president?
I hear a voice that motivates me. His name is Harold. I'm sorry, but Harold says you are an ass.
You seem to be always so jovial and sunny. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. Each one has two sides. At times, when I meet a so-called businessman, my sight dims and I convulse with hate. And then, without warning, I experience the urge to obliterate his heckling smug look. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to anything to do with that side.
You have been seen in a compromising location with a famous person whose name I'm not authorized to make public. Care to comment?
Thou, fawning unchin-snouted pignut! I deny any such "situation", in particular one with A.Z..
I may have a picture.
Thou, goatish tardy-gaited mammet! The photo has probably appeared spontaneously...
Spontaneously? I do not understand.
Well, some wandering photons spontaneously created an utterly random picture in which you mistakenly tagged me. For example, I would not be shocked if your mother or your cat "spontaneously" take fire. Do you understand?
I made a mistake, this is actually a photo of my dog...
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