An interview with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
As a kid Donald Trump showed an unseemly inclination to exotic food like fried frog legs and wasabi (pixabay photo)

Do you use a pseudonym when you make reservation for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to elude paparazzi and supporters
Why not! I go to extremes to steer clear of those barbarians. We usually employ the pseudonym "Donald Tremp".

Did you ever participated in a séance?
Yes, just once. It was a very uncanny experience. At a certain point, the ghost of Henry Kissinger appeared and established that I'm the reincarnation of Arthur Schopenhauer's tailor.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
In my dreams it is a kangaroo. A big, fat, peaceful kangaroo, replete and somnolent in the shade of a large tree.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Honestly, common brands are for common people. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Lomacistaria bilobata, a very scarce black rose that only grows in Bhutan.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is currently quite brutal, since in these torn times there are places where it is impossible to find even a just tolerable cheeseburger with or without mustard.

Your zodiac sign is Gemini. May I read you your horoscope?
As you want, but I don't believe in zodiacal nonsense.

You will ram into a wandering stranger from Tucson, a gardener named Larry with a pear peel in his left hand. He will show you a map allegedly signed by the notorious pirate Sir Henry Morgan, that places his gold in a hidden mine in Virginia. Don't believe him!
Darn tooting! That seems a little categorical...

President Trump, which is your position on scientific research?
I've already a lot of ideas for these so-called scientists. I want a working pair of X-ray see-through specs because the ones I have are a failure and I also want a method to make microwaves visible so that I can trust the owen.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Donald Trump's private telephone number :
7189457772 623234448 633348291 6948766353 8759250261 4393795127 8454410626 6551677330 6817805214 8465864799 9305937065 632805280 8787086519 343574786 4615404798 3478962798 4121405178 4801967632 4928709049 3568610332
I queued up forever for a chance to have a hurried rendezvous with Donald Trump. The resulting interview was amazing, like it was written by Anton Chekhov in his prime. So, it was highly unfortunate that my ferret set my only copy on fire! After I recovered from a mild intoxication, I tried to recollect those awesome words. To be honest here: I'm not so certain this web page is a totally genuine account of what transpired during our meeting, and I'm starting to be uncertain it ever was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Will Smith Adrianne Palicki Carrie Underwood Christopher Lee Elizabeth Hurley Gabrielle Phoebe Tonkin Michael C. Hall Mads Mikkelsen Sophie Turner Peter Gabriel Jamie Foxx Sean Young Christina Hendricks Gary Oldman Macaulay Culkin Zoë Kravitz Nina Dobrev Alison Pill
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.