A conversation with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
Donald Trump is always looking for new ways to stay in contact with his devotees. (pixabay photo)

What motivated you to become president?
My speechwriter says it's because I like the sound of my voice.

You appear to be always so chirpy and lively. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to confess it, but I do. Each person has a dark side. At times, when I face another President, my heart became heavier and I shiver with aversion. And then, without warning, I experience the urge to erase his sneering smirk. That is my bright side... I let you discover, if you want, how dark my dark side is.

Apart from rapping with Kanye West, is there something you do better than anybody else?
I can deliver "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost backwards in 4 different languages including Klingonese.

Donald, do you like pandas?
Certainly no!

Why you do not like pandas, if I may ask?
First of all, they stink! And one panda bite my uncle's naughty parts. This is one of the motives I become the President of USA, so I should reconsider my opinion about pandas.

If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
My favorite karaoke song is "Space Oddity" by David Bowie.

Donald, what are you plans about sport?
I think that today most of the sports are dull. They need that boost that made people enjoy the Barnum Circus. To face the problem, I want that MIT students invent a team of mega detailed female cyborgs 150 feet high that can play volley.

If I may ask, do you have any particular phobia?
I have acquired an unreasonable fear for mechanical typewriters, by reason of a curious accident occurred to my aunt. I'm also scared by séances, but that is quite normal.

Donald Trump refused to share his home telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
7197128226 4078290268 2439354504 2639102496 365106186 6194903656 563686842 4266884407 805495203 7613450890 9520031108 457721269 4618358839 4272887621 4958829148 6383886581 881056261 5213382661 8097707719 6351354651
I patiently queued up for weeks for a chance to have a little conversation with Donald Trump. The resulting piece was impressive, like "Gulliver's Travels" rewritten by Mandrake. It was awfully disastrous, to put it mildly, that my ferret by accident set my only copy on fire! After I recovered from a mild intoxication, I tried to recollect those fantastic words. So, to be frank, I'm not so sure this web page contains a completely truthful run-down of what transpired during our meeting, and now I'm starting to ask myself if it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.