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An interview with Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Donald Trump born June 14th, 1946 (Gemini)
During an excruciating gathering, the Ouija board has established that Donald Trump is the reincarnation of Arthur Schopenhauer's butcher

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Jawohl! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the respect,
you took your love away from me.
A comb, a book alone in a drawer
the desolate souvenirs of you.
You took away my sanity,
everything I care you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

Where do you go when you die?
In a coffin, generally, but if you are burned then your ashes can pepper the wrong place.

Donald, are you superstitious?
Oh yes! I need to shout "nuts!" to 3 random people before a significant event.

What can you tell us about your plans for education?
Well, Elisabeth DeVos told me that public schools mainly create butlers and gender fluid kindergarden teachers. It's a huge waste of money. So old Betsy and me will study how to move a few of the public schools where space is cheaper, like Mojave desert or possibly Canada.

Donald, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Donald's surprise". In the middle of one of my famed peregrinations in the Atacama desert, I discovered an inconspicuous plant unknown to botanists, now named Clastomannia decurrens, that blooms only every 10 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of lemons and pickles. It sounds unpalatable, but it's quite easy to get the habit.

Donald, what are you plans about sport?
According to a statistic, currently most of the sports are stale. They lack that sparkle that convinced people to overcrowd the Barnum Circus. In this regard, I'm mulling over a new sport like basketball but more virile. Just imagine a combination of rollerball and tennis but with more traumas. I'm preparing a consultation with my ally Putin to put down the regulations.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is very bleak, since in this battered epoch there are regions where it is hopeless to find even a just so-so corn dog.

Which super power do you have?
You'll not believe this! Talking backwards, since I was 5, particularly if it is raining.

Donald Trump refused to let me know his private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
4417028434 6985549585 8276886543 602677658 4411179186 7089353373 985301739 4194813458 400700571 5108354167 4981171699 3020102309 7419088374 357012168 9792998452 854782922 8822494304 9119307129 2854371884 9906600677
I patiently set up a little interview with Donald Trump many weeks in advance. The resulting piece was awesome, like "The Scarlet Letter" rewritten by Flash Gordon. It was unlucky, to put it mildly, that another inmate (probably on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I restored my sobriety, I struggled to recall those magnificent words. So, to be straight, I'm not so certain this web page contains a completely precise chronicle of our conversation, and so I'm beginning to be uncertain it actually was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.