I've heard you are writing an autobiography. Is it true?
I think I will! It is lamentable that I have so little time, if any, to write. Last week I've read the recap of the abridged version of the book "The Metamorphosis", and I found it more or less passable. Hence, I've ordered my agent to contact the author - a certain Franz Kafka - since I truly need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not received any answer.
Nowaday the problem of allergy in gazelles is reaching epic proportions. Is Drea de Matteo doing anything in this respect?
Why not! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a week. The profits ($1,200 per night) will go to an organization for the cure of allergy in gazelles.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a black horse on my shoulder. It implements a tracker, so I can be rescued if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works only if I'm somehow undressed.
Can you refute the noise about your role in the shady business of Mongolian death worm pictures?
Could I? O.K.! Do I want? I don't believe so!
Do you have any scar?
All right! I have a little gecko shaped scar on my left shoulder, a remainder of my troublesome confrontation with a wild armadillo.
Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, here it is my instant cure. In case of need mix two parts of whiskey, one part of fruit smoothie and some pickles. Gargle with the resulting concoction every 10 minutes for 4 hours.
Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Swordfish"?
Great Scott! To cite a classic, the set "was a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smelled of strawberries!".
Who are your heroes?
Frank (the less-known uncle of Mozart), Forrest Gump, and myself.
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