An interview with Dwayne Johnson
Dwayne Johnson
Dwayne Johnson born May 2nd, 1972 (Taurus)
Probably you don't know that the first time he was at the wheel of his sedan, Dwayne Johnson unintentionally knocked down a sloshed panda, with no consequences for both (pixabay photo)

Which is the coolest flag?
I think it is that of Vulgaria, probably because it has my picture in the middle. Vulgaria is a wonderful but unfortunate nation. They are so poor their dictionaries stop at the letter "S".

What would you like to do right now?
Get a manicure from a brain surgeon because it's what VIPs do.

What's the most uncanny dream you have ever had?
Not actually a dream: I found myself in a vacant dim place. A foul taste in my mouth. Then I remembered I got drunk at a rerun of "Freddy Got Fingered" in a drab drive-in near Milwaukee.

Apart from acting, is there one thing in which you beat everybody else?
Actually, I can repeat "When You Are Old" by Yeats in 4 different languages including Polish.

You appear to be always so effervescent and positive. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I believe that everybody has a dark side. For example, when I face a colleague actor, my sight dims and I tremble with aversion. And suddenly, I sense a compulsion to seal forever those lecherous eyes. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to know it.

Dwayne, do you have something to say to young people?
Totally! Don't let the color of your skin make you feel less than awesome. Unless you are blue. In that case you are probably going to join the great majority, so good riddance.

Have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, I had some problems with my agent, so to make a short story shorter, next year I will be known as "Dwayne Jihnson".

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a squirrel. A big, fat, tranquil squirrel, glutted and somnolent in the shade of a large tree.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Dwayne Johnson's home telephone number :
2368159818 6659952130 5608483206 7462762162 3562151984 7234430075 2769112615 2759215400 5039701143 5076999994 5200582031 394640908 9311496831 214904111 5976430195 6890007692 437593239 3060572349 5353130527 8641048094
To be honest, my supervisor had scheduled my little meeting with Dwayne Johnson several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I got stoned watching the DVD of "Parting Shots". So, the transcript above is essentially based on what Dwayne Johnson would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.