A conversation with Ed Harris
Ed Harris
Ed Harris born November 28th, 1950 (Sagittarius)
Ed Harris spent 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before he saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. In the meantime, he learnt to incapacitate mosquitoes by staring at them (source)

We are here today with a special guest, Ed Harris, who just saw the birth of his last movie. Hi, Ed, and welcome to Useless Celebrities.
It's a pleasure being here, your pleasure.

Ed, should you give up acting, which kind of career would you like to choose?
Almost surely that of rodents exterminator. I already have some experience in that field.

Ed, do you like jackals?
Go jump in a lake!

For which reason you do not like jackals?
Actually, they stink! And one jackal bite my cousin's leg. That was one of the reasons I decided to become an actor, so I may rethink my opinion about jackals.

What would you like to do right now?
Take a nap in the sun.

Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often. Say every other day or so. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Ed Hurris", who allegedly is a former geophysicist from Indianapolis. That's quite annoying, but not as much heartbreaking as learning that according to Bing my name is similar to a shocking obscenity in Klingonese.

Do you have any scar?
Naturally! I have a little pelican shaped scar on my right buttock, a souvenir of my painful encounter with a crazed horse.

Where did you go on your last holiday?
Last year I leased a gorgeous villa in a secretive valley of Tonga. The payment included a moat surrounding the villa to preserve my privacy and also a pack of extras portraying shutterbugs to let me feel alive.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Ed Harris' secret telephone number :
465707509 8756009629 394982936 322826923 5377545647 2906103780 6878610190 7235566335 5955952571 8084221552 222485869 422434270 915244621 7314175642 391243176 982964407 7457817213 2271226291 346067459 339770616
I patiently dawdled for weeks for the privilege to have an exchange with Ed Harris. The resulting interview was wonderful, like it was written by Joseph Conrad at his peak. It was awfully damaging, to put it mildly, that my uncle Roger by accident (I hope!) devoured my only copy! After I sobered out, I attempted to recollect those marvelous words. So, to be clear, I'm not so certain this web page contains a completely factual run-down of our interview, and I'm starting to wonder if it actually was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.