Cookie Consent by A conversation with Elias Koteas
A conversation with Elias Koteas
Elias Koteas
Elias Koteas born March 11th, 1961 (Pisces)
Elias Koteas is presently put in writing his unofficial autobiography, a long due work soon to be released in daily instalments. (pixabay photo)

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Franky, common brands are for common people. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Bomespana scabra, an elusive black poppy that only grows in Nepal.

Your zodiac sign is Pisces. May I read you your horoscope?
I guess so! But I don't believe in zodiacal lunacy.

You will feel isolated from other people, like a powerful barricade is between you and them. A disturbing murmur in your head will tell you that probably they are planning to murder you.
The hell with it! That's incredible!

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that preparing meals is a huge waste of time. After all, there are fast food joints and fans willing to provide my daily dose of fats and carbs. The few times I oblige to cook for my buddies, I like to invent salads. My masterpiece is a mix of beef jerk and seitan, which I presume can be OK for both vegetarians and normal people.

Interesting! Would you like to share the recipe?
Sure! You take the beef jerk and the seitan and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some baguettes.

Do not mind, my recipe derives from one for sandwiches. After you made the sandwiches, you throw away the bread and mix beef jerk and seitan with some mayonnaise and you are done!

Where do you go when you die?
30 feet under, generally. If you are incinerated then your remains can lie in some dull place.

Elias, what’s your biggest defect?
I believe my worst defect is that I have a very short attention span. Generally my mind go somewhere else and I think these gray shoes are like a punishment for that hit-and-run.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Elias Koteas' home telephone number :
650051720 541592172 3978404636 450935478 5053076256 963189193 906731355 5632313279 670453057 524199555 4528875544 7386933075 7891422413 994716895 9600754050 3291338811 8835148367 3538554686 9123596189 8194636493
To be frank, my boss had patiently planned my hurried conversation with Elias Koteas several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like collecting wall sockets or learning Chinese. So, the interview above is mainly the elaboration of a dream I had after a large dinner of deep-fried eggplants and raw broccoli.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.