A conversation with Elias Koteas
Elias Koteas
Elias Koteas born March 11th, 1961 (Pisces)
During a tormented séance, a medium has conjectured that Elias Koteas is the reincarnation of a Ronald Reagan's homonym (source)

Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often. Say every day or so. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Elias Kyteas", who turns out to be a former cardiologist from Chicago. That's quite saddening, but not as much worrisome as finding that according to Yahoo my name sounds like a horrible insult in Russian.

If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
Yes! I have acquired an unreasonable fear for dog shaped clouds, after an uncanny accident happened to my aunt. I'm also scared by dark places, but that is quite normal.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
I can win a contest singing "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack.

Some witnesses have seen you in a compromising location with a singer whose name and whose gender I've not the permission to expose. Do you want to comment?
If you mean K.W., then it was a platonic thing. I deny any other "situation", expecially one with D.B...

I may have a photograph.
You know, the photo is probably just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
Yes, accidents happen. Like when you "accidentally" photoshop a photo. Or, for example, your car or your house may "accidentally" take fire. Capiche?

I think I've lost that picture anyway...
Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?

Okey-doke! It is unfortunate that I have so little time, if any, to put down the words. Last week I've seen the cover illustration of "The Metamorphosis", and I found it quite palatable. On that account, I told my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain Franz Kafka - because I really need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not heard any news.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Elias Koteas' private telephone number :
5639620703 8926685638 609981105 6868511246 2106532924 2801813488 8425962641 2557840016 852187029 529530825 3030697114 9816061079 3002587756 6013805570 963673487 667068476 233312695 6375495521 8954402738 5333451563
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had patiently scheduled my hurried talk with Elias Koteas days beforehand. Unluckily, I got stoned watching a rerun of "The Spirit". So, the interview above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had after a large dinner of beans and deep-fried bell peppers.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.