A conversation with Elijah Wood
Elijah Wood
Elijah Wood born January 28th, 1981 (Aquarius)
Elijah Wood in a clever outfit meant to leave behind irritating paparazzi (pixabay photo)

Elijah, do you have something to say to young people?
Yes! Modern research has proved that sniffing glue like a vacuum cleaner may have sour long-term aftereffects, like loss of sleep or sudden death. But dread no more! Buy "Elijah's sensation", now with more Cotosma macrocarpa extracts. Just $19.99 for 70 pills. (Note : Not actually a drug. It often may cause loss of money or induce suicide. Sodium-free. It may contain traces of nuts and iron filings).

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
Actually, I do a great impression of a horse, usually for kids or everybody willing to spend big bucks to see the performance.

Have you made plans for the New Year?
Well, I have some legal issues regarding my contract, so to bail out this mess I will be forced to change my name, and next year I will be known as "Elijah Wuod".

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Jared Leto. I think we feel the same about Rambo.

Your zodiac sign is Aquarius. Are you a typical Aquarius?
Will do! I'm very agreeable, somehow indolent, dogged and calm. My friends say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is usual in artist.

You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I spent 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Sheraton hotel. However, I learnt to bend fire, just a little.

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
Without doubt a panda.

Elijah, what's your vice?
My vice is telling the truth when it no longer seems a virtue. Well, I’m probably going to be criticized for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.

There is no possibility any of these is Elijah Wood's private telephone number :
8187909077 4402140393 9080014373 8977087700 7565637180 6921286903 7660957921 7469942241 302689129 877478555 3028087533 3092781601 5282242537 6754666689 528991912 7732765200 991835522 728309339 8272253520 8690319280
Let's face it, celebrities are very frantic people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Elijah Wood totally alone and to obtain the interview above without his help. Therefore, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained employing a program we fed with all the available info about Elijah.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.