Where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I rented a luxurious manor in a secretive valley of Krakozhia. The only issue was making a transfer in bitcoins to the amiable gentleman from Russia that proposed me the affair by email.
Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Golly! Sometimes my popularity frightens me. I really make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I'm known to be popular among prosperous sultans and unremarkable bookkeepers in the same fashion. Say, there are at least 13 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Djibouti and Grenyarnia.
Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
I really can't use commercial brands anymore. My toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Arnecypremia lanata, an almost extinct bulb native of Venezuela.
Are you allergic to anything?
Maybe! I have a little intolerance to foxes, xylene and whining.
Elijah, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you made in your career?
I asked myself: "What do people like?" the answer is soy sauce! So I bought 1800000 bottles of soy sauce which I'm keeping in my castle, waiting for the price to go up.
When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional actor?
Really? I did not. My father and I decided that I would have become a bookkeeper. But, things don't always go as planned.
Could you suggest a remedy for common cold?
Here it is my guaranteed treatment for common cold. Mix three parts of rum, one part of energy drink and some balsamic vinegar. Apply the resulting mixture on your wrists and your tongue.
Some witnesses have seen you in a compromising position with a singer whose name I'm not at liberty to publish. Do you have any comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with P.A..
I may have a photo.
Well, the photo has probably appeared spontaneously...
Spontaneously? I do not understand.
You know, probably some drifting photons spontaneously concocted an absolutely random photo in which you erroneously spotted me. For example, given the right conditions, your dear one or your house may "spontaneously" fly into pieces. Capishe?
I was joking, there is absolutely no picture...
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