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A conversation with Elijah Wood
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Elijah Wood
Elijah Wood born January 28th, 1981 (Aquarius)
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One of Elijah Wood's most firm new year resolutions is to obtain soon a special license for steering a hovercraft (source)

Where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I rented a luxurious manor in a secretive valley of Krakozhia. The only issue was making a transfer in bitcoins to the amiable gentleman from Russia that proposed me the affair by email.

Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Golly! Sometimes my popularity frightens me. I really make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I'm known to be popular among prosperous sultans and unremarkable bookkeepers in the same fashion. Say, there are at least 13 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Djibouti and Grenyarnia.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
I really can't use commercial brands anymore. My toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Arnecypremia lanata, an almost extinct bulb native of Venezuela.

Are you allergic to anything?
Maybe! I have a little intolerance to foxes, xylene and whining.

Elijah, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you made in your career?
I asked myself: "What do people like?" the answer is soy sauce! So I bought 1800000 bottles of soy sauce which I'm keeping in my castle, waiting for the price to go up.

When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional actor?
Really? I did not. My father and I decided that I would have become a bookkeeper. But, things don't always go as planned.

Could you suggest a remedy for common cold?
Here it is my guaranteed treatment for common cold. Mix three parts of rum, one part of energy drink and some balsamic vinegar. Apply the resulting mixture on your wrists and your tongue.

Some witnesses have seen you in a compromising position with a singer whose name I'm not at liberty to publish. Do you have any comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with P.A..

I may have a photo.
Well, the photo has probably appeared spontaneously...

Spontaneously? I do not understand.
You know, probably some drifting photons spontaneously concocted an absolutely random photo in which you erroneously spotted me. For example, given the right conditions, your dear one or your house may "spontaneously" fly into pieces. Capishe?

I was joking, there is absolutely no picture...

There is no possibility any of these is Elijah Wood's secret telephone number :
9158822889 8298747546 8476677677 9954781246 5276400120 4971276075 3498263689 995838427 830143894 906222373 7991028897 8120147965 247436620 6549818851 646263059 9088830186 5526832628 806538099 7490940997 6974449518
I waited for many weeks for an occasion to have a brief exchange with Elijah Wood. The resulting interview was wonderful, like it was written by Agatha Christie under the effects of prescription stimulants. Thus, it was very damaging, to put it mildly, that my doctor (probably on purpose!) shredded my only copy! After I recounted my vitals, I struggled to recall those stunning words. To be clear here: I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page contains an absolutely precise chronicle of what transpired during our meeting, and so I'm beginning to question whether it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.