Can you tell me the square root of 834559084?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to smother you.
Do you know Kenneth M. Cooper (a former orthoptist, now an electrical linesworker) from El Cajon?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly engaged to him. Then there was a public embarrassment about Kenneth having affairs with every woman in a radius of 40 miles, even barely breathing ones, so their engagement came to an abrupt ending.
You seem to be always so vivacios and joyful. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to confess it, but I do. I believe that everybody has a dark side. For example, when I see a so-called artist, my sight fades out and my teeth rattle with fury. And all of a sudden, I fight the need to wipe out that moron from the earth and jump on her cold coffin. That is my sunny side... I let you figure out how dark my dark side is.
What is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 6, I won the "Golden Rabbit Medal" issued by the municipality of Denver for "remarkable yet unneeded stage accomplishment".
What would Elisha Cuthbert do to solve the problem of ferocity and criminality that is jeopardizing our society?
Well, I think that giving a security guard to every person would make many problems go away, but most politicians are selfish old lads.
Is there a deep moral hidden in your "The Girl Next Door"?
Of course! That you win some, you lose some.
Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often. Say every other day or so. But lately Google says "Including results for Elisha Cothbert", who turns out to be a former otorhinolaryngologist from Dallas. That's quite distressing, but not as much worrisome as discovering that according to Bing my name is similar to an awful obscenity in Japanese.
Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Sure! Here it is
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