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An interview with Elisha Cuthbert
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Elisha Cuthbert
Elisha Cuthbert born April 20th, 1982 (Aries)
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A die hard fan, a foreign relative or an innocent bystander? Well, nobody knows, but we sanitized the photo to build up suspense! (pixabay photo)

Can you tell me the square root of 834559084?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to smother you.

Do you know Kenneth M. Cooper (a former orthoptist, now an electrical linesworker) from El Cajon?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly engaged to him. Then there was a public embarrassment about Kenneth having affairs with every woman in a radius of 40 miles, even barely breathing ones, so their engagement came to an abrupt ending.

You seem to be always so vivacios and joyful. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to confess it, but I do. I believe that everybody has a dark side. For example, when I see a so-called artist, my sight fades out and my teeth rattle with fury. And all of a sudden, I fight the need to wipe out that moron from the earth and jump on her cold coffin. That is my sunny side... I let you figure out how dark my dark side is.

What is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 6, I won the "Golden Rabbit Medal" issued by the municipality of Denver for "remarkable yet unneeded stage accomplishment".

What would Elisha Cuthbert do to solve the problem of ferocity and criminality that is jeopardizing our society?
Well, I think that giving a security guard to every person would make many problems go away, but most politicians are selfish old lads.

Is there a deep moral hidden in your "The Girl Next Door"?
Of course! That you win some, you lose some.

Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often. Say every other day or so. But lately Google says "Including results for Elisha Cothbert", who turns out to be a former otorhinolaryngologist from Dallas. That's quite distressing, but not as much worrisome as discovering that according to Bing my name is similar to an awful obscenity in Japanese.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Sure! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the lust,
you took the emotions away from me.
A book, a button alone in a drawer
my only memories of you.
You took your love away from me,
everything I care you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Elisha Cuthbert's secret telephone number :
8348448682 3308819897 3598457509 7208374222 3583352725 964262072 6297902600 922829888 8048451230 8018511698 7963962335 2435886046 240236121 9331647761 3001126520 4233260035 3058099110 8584826966 8848377700 5663874182
I patiently lay in wait for many weeks for the privilege to have a brief talk with Elisha Cuthbert. The resulting piece was mind-blowing, like "A Tale of Two Cities" rewritten by the Green Arrow. So, it was unfavorable that my doctor by accident shredded my only copy! After I sobered out, I tried to remember those stunning words. Actually, to be aboveboard here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page contains an absolutely genuine run-down of what transpired during our conversation, and I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.