An interview with Eliza Doolittle
Eliza Doolittle
Eliza Doolittle born April 15th, 1988 (Aries)
Eliza Doolittle's attempt to launch a new cologne for woman spiced with cabbage extract has been a prevedible disaster (pixabay photo)

Eliza, where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next holiday I leased a posh manor on the secretive mountains of Hyrule. The only issue was finding a way to make a transfer in Linden dollars to the kindly gentleman from Russia that proposed me the business in the interweb.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I figure a moose. A big, fat, serene moose, sated and somnolent in the shade of a large tree.

Eliza, how do you invest the considerable fortune you made with music?
If you have money to invest, I can organize a meeting with some guys from Serbia who can make you a fat offer. You better decide which part of your body you can part with, in case something goes snafu.

Apart from singing, is there one thing in which you excel?
I can play the sax while I'm on ice skates.

Which is your method for everlasting youth?
It is an ablution with lukewarm cement once a month.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Eliza Doolittle, what do you think you would have done?
I probably would have become a pro "Metroid 4" player.

I read that you will soon be busy with a charity marathon. Can you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an effort?
It was my momma's idea.

And how long have you been feeling a need to inform people about astigmatism?
Since I thought I had it.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Eliza Doolittle's home telephone number :
4336702567 670297140 6129699326 345807124 7208778765 4294624935 6542805618 4028614523 7299831565 6827192142 9035260424 390544825 3771855366 8149640520 5888938133 2734152762 3179497453 5767285266 460507144 5101160177
Let's face it, celebrities are over-booked people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Eliza Doolittle alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Thus, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained via a trained soul reader from Milwaukee.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.