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A talk with Eliza Dushku
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Eliza Dushku
Eliza Dushku born December 30th, 1980 (Capricorn)
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The delighted mien of fans who have stumbled upon Eliza Dushku (pixabay photo)

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Eliza Dushku, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a film production company and sang John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt until they gave me a job.

Eliza, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, I have some legal troubles about my last contract, the simplest way out is changing my name, so next year I will be known as "Eliza Dishku".

Could you substantiate the rumours about your participation in the incident of Kraken DNA samples?
Rats! You are showing an odd desire to look at the other side of the grass, if you understand what I mean. You know, I know a guy who knows a guy that for $3000,... Oh, forget it! You don't like spoilers, don't ya?

You have been the recipient of uncountable prizes. Do you remember what is the first award you ever won?
I won the "Chocolate Elk Medal" assigned by the Mayor of Austin for "outstanding yet redundant stage exhibition" at the age of 10.

What motivates you to act?
It's easier than working...

What’s the best sound in the world?
Probably it is the relaxing swish of a roll of new banknotes caressing each other. But please, write instead something more suitable for publication, for example "the first 'mom' of your baby" or "the jubilant giggle of a happy kid ".

Apart from acting, is there something you do better than anybody else?
You know, I do a great impression of an elk, usually for kids or everybody willing to wait the 40 minutes I need to find concentration.

You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
To be frank, I lived 4 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to incapacitate gnats by staring at them.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Eliza Dushku's private telephone number is listed here :
7067560211 8701572585 4086778814 5936718556 5134731707 7767321286 3754009323 9381260869 8615850054 894379866 8342822751 4554408410 464107711 6193875953 7096534528 9457802439 7067440568 6207067367 984086543 2618754120
My director had patiently lined up my little conversation with Eliza Dushku several months beforehand. Regrettably, I fall asleep watching a rerun of "Batman & Robin". So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had following a large dinner based on cabbage stew and deep-fried bell peppers.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.