A talk with Elizabeth Hurley
Elizabeth Hurley
Elizabeth Hurley born June 10th, 1965 (Gemini)
In her hidden laboratory Elizabeth Hurley is daringly searching a way to turn trash into marshmallows (pixabay photo)

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
I have a great time singing "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to nitrous oxide, whining and monkey milk (don't ask!).

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I can proudly tell you that I have my own brand. My hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Oligodantonnella nervosa, an elusive parasitic orchid which grows only in Borneo.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a yellow cow on my belly. It is radioactive, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in Sacramento outskirts, but unluckily it works better if I'm a little undressed.

Do you like to cook?
Who do you think i am! But I like to invent salads. My gem is a mix of bacon and amaranth, which I think can accomodate both vegs and normal people.

Interesting! Would you like to share the recipe?
By all means! You take the bacon and the amaranth and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some salted brioches.

Do not mind, my recipe derives from one for sandwiches. After you made those sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix bacon and amaranth with some dill and you are done!

Which is the most embarrassing DVD (or blu-ray) you personally bought?
Humph! Apart from "Disaster Movie", which was a gift, I fear it is "Tiptoes" or "Twisted".

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Elizabeth Hurley's secret telephone number :
8853194793 323529119 4449115207 2343335276 8980835765 8705617402 770232566 2643773112 863203601 476113211 3096206106 8748421423 926990160 644124474 9910255739 8320546589 8171906275 912069686 5254817241 9944348781
My director had patiently set up my talk with Elizabeth Hurley months beforehand. Regrettably, I decided at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like visiting Canada or collecting toothbrushes. So, the interview above is essentially the recollection of a nightmare I had following a large dinner of raw broccoli and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.