We are here today with a special guest, Elizabeth Taylor, who just saw the birth of her last movie. Hi, Elizabeth, and welcome to Celebrity Hammocks.
Good morning to you, and thank you for inviting me.
Do you like to cook?
To be frank, I believe that preparing food is a waste of energy, since there are canteens and restaurants willing to provide my daily RDA of carbs and vitamines. The few times I decide to cook for my disciples, I like to invent salads. My all time favorite is a mix of pastrami and seaweeds, which I think can satisfy both vegs and normal people.
Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Yep! You take the pastrami and the seaweeds and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some Italian focaccia.
It does not matter, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made those sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix pastrami and seaweeds with some crushed garlic and voilà, you are done!
Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yep! It was a very tormented experience. Suddenly, the ghost of Samuel Johnson manifested and determined that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of an Immanuel Kant's homonym.
Do you Google yourself often?
Say every two hours. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Elizabeth Toylor", who turns out to be a retired copywriter from Seattle. That's quite dispiriting, but not as much upsetting as learning that according to Yahoo my name sounds like a terrible vulgarity in Mongolian.
Do you do your own shopping?
Not on a chance! Usually, I employ a crew of shopping gurus to elaborate my grocery list and e-mail it to a gang of pro buyers distributed around the globe. For the garbs, I ever pay a number of stand-in, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.
Do you know any good cough cure?
In case of cough, mix three parts of scotch, two parts of tea and some vinaigrette inside a coconut, then drink the resulting potion every 25 minutes for 3 hours.
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